In the community I grew up in, “feminist” was a dirty word. “Feminists” were egocentric, irrational, angry, and irreligious, and the last thing a woman wanted to be called was “feminist”. This is probably why it took so long for me to adopt the word to describe myself, but, long before I had a name for it, I had that fire in my heart that many a feminist has felt before me.
I firmly believe that this fire—that deep desire to end injustice, to speak for myself, to tear down the barriers that prevent others from self-fulfilment, and to create space to love and honor the dignity of human life—has been given to us by God. It’s the same fire that has ignited rebellious women for centuries, the same fire that ignited the first feminists and the women who fought for our suffrage.
After all that the women’s movement has accomplished, though, our work is nowhere near done. Feminism has grown to a become an international socio-political movement, but at its crux has always been about real women who, motivated by their personal experiences, are inspired to speak up and call for change.
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Below, eight women share their stories of why they need feminism.
I Need Feminism Because…
1. People thought I didn't belong in my field
“Because women in STEM shouldn’t be a surprise, nor should they be treated lesser or as less intelligent then men in STEM fields. Being only 1 of a handful of female chemistry or math majors in my entire time in undergrad made me realize how many people thought I did not belong there.” –Sarah
2. My boss demeaned the work I did
“I realized I needed feminism when I was leaving my first full time job after college. I worked for a religiously influenced non-profit. I had been there for a year and half. The office itself was just an insane work environment, and I was the only administrative support for a large segment of the work being done. I worked crazy hours, implemented new organizational process, was often the only person answering the phone to field the questions, managed the website, met with our PR consultant weekly, and basically taught myself the whole job. This is not to toot my own horn, just give context. When I got a new job, which I knew was going to be a much better fit for me professionally, and provide me with a LOT more professional development and career advancement opportunities, I gave my notice. The (male) who ran the office brought me in to try and talk me out of it. While acknowledging that I was smart, and doing a good job, he did not offer me any compensation enticements to stay, or offer to help with my professional development. He only said: but if you leave, who is going to book my hotel rooms?” –Victoria
3. I (and as many as 1 in 10 women) have chronic health conditions no one is researching
“Because endometriosis, PCOS and other painful female conditions are not adequately researched and treated.” – Kate
4. My spiritual mentors reduced my vocation to having babies
“I need feminism because I need to be reminded that women are useful for more than just their fertility. I’ve had various spiritual directors and mentors that have seemed to believe that a woman’s value is in motherhood, or, if not that, in the convent. They’ve believed that that’s one of the only ways I could be happy. So basically, I’m just supposed to wait around for a man which can be frustrating to hear when I’m trying to figure out my life.” --Tiffany
I need feminism because I need to be reminded that women are useful for more than just their fertility.
5. I was told I should just "smile more" during the toughest season of my life
“When my husband was deployed, I had two young children (2 years old and the other turned 1 during the deployment). I wasn’t able to go home, like many wives. I had no family support, and most of my friends had gone back to visit their families during the deployment. My mentally ill addict mother ended up moving in with me. Towards the end of the deployment, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had been complaining about insomnia and general unrest for months to my GP. So they gave me lithium and sent me on my way. Turns out, I had Graves Disease (hyperthyroidism). Every time I went to the commissary, someone would look me in the eye and say I should smile more. I was prettier when I smiled. Every. Time. They had no idea what I was going through personally. Just that young women should smile and look pretty and not worry our little heads about big boy stuff. It made me feel like a complete and utter failure as a wife, mother, and woman.” –Kristi
6. I was constantly judged... harshly
“Because absolutely everything I do can be/has been held up as not appropriate to my vocation or damaging to other women. Everything. Women cannot be damned if they do, damned if they don’t constantly and not have serious consequences.” -- Kirby
7. I watched my mom stay in an abusive marriage
“I personally need feminism in my life because I know first hand how awful things can be without it. I grew up in a home with an always emotionally/sometimes physically abusive father. He made every decision in our household. He gaslit my mother and all of us as children. He created a world where he was the only thing any of us could count on. He told my mother and I (not my brothers) everyone was out to hurt us and that no one else would ever love us. Some of my earliest memories are him telling me that there was no such thing as unconditional love and that someday I might do something and he wouldn't love me anymore. He spent my adolescence alternating between telling me how plain, hard, and unlovable I was and making me stand in corner and hurling all sorts of accusations and foul names at me. He broke my mother down until she was virtually useless as an adult. He was manipulative and constantly made me rehearse the things I should say in court if he divorced my mother. It was a nightmare that lasted my entire childhood because my mother wasn't raised to believe she was capable or worthy so she has never been strong enough to walk away for her children much less for herself.
I personally need feminism in my life because I know first hand how awful things can be without it.
I cannot fathom the kind of destructive and miserable life I'd be leading as an adult if it hadn't been for the strong-no-bullshit example of my great grandmother who stepped away from her alcoholic husband and raised her daughter alone through the Great Depression, no less, and literary examples like Jane Eyre. Without feminism acting as a proper check for the patriarchal ego that can lead to abuse and reminds the world that women are capable and worthy, childhoods like mine and lives like my mother's are much less the exception.”—Anonymous
8. I was taught to fear my body
“I need feminism because purity culture hurt me. I cannot deny that Purity Culture heightened my already strong fears of sex. I cannot deny that things I was taught through chastity talks strengthened my fears and made me reluctant to go through the steps to overcome vaginismus. Vaginismus, if you don’t know, is like a sexual panic attack. You can’t relax enough to have sex and attempts to engage in sex are extremely painful.
I cannot deny how abandoned and judged I felt when I reached out anonymously for help. I'm disgusted by things people said to me, that I received PMs telling me I was a wimp with pain and was leading my husband to sin by not being able to have sex with him. I’m upset by the people who were afraid to give me more than their sympathy out of fear they’d give non-Church-approved advice. I’m upset that those who gave good advice were a minority voice that got attacked as heretics. Because somehow it's heresy to just relax and let the act be what it can be without getting mentally wrapped up in fear of ‘If we go too far and I can't do it, everything we've done up to that point is a sin.’
I need feminism because I was raised to believe that co-dependency was Christian charity. I was raised to look at the way of the cross as the way of the doormat. Just allow people to mistreat you. Even to the point of death. That's love. Doesn't matter how people treat you. Never stand up for yourself.”—Angela
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"Inadequate consideration for the condition of women helps to create instability in the fabric of society.
I think of the exploitation of women who are treated as objects, and of the many ways that a lack of respect is shown for their dignity; I also think —in a different context—of the mindset persisting in some cultures, where women are still firmly subordinated to the arbitrary decisions of men, with grave consequences for their personal dignity and for the exercise of their fundamental freedoms.
There can be no illusion of a secure peace until these forms of discrimination are also overcome, since they injure the personal dignity impressed by the Creator upon every human being.”
Pope Benedict XVI, 2007 World Day of Peace
