Search Posts

This is a series that looks at the corporal works of mercy from a feminist lens. You can read part one of the series, on homelessness, here.

There are some neighbors who can be harder to love than others. When Jesus asks us to care for the poor, the sick, and the dying, we can find it to be difficult but understandable work. When he asks us to visit the imprisoned, it seems like a harder ask. We often think in terms of actions and consequences — they’re being punished, and they deserve it. However, the experience of a lot of people in this system is far from just, and it is our task to fight for them, too.

Readers may already be passionate about this topic, especially in light of larger issues within the criminal justice system. If the topic is one that you’re interested in, I recommend reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, and Incarceration Nations by Baz Dreisinger and listening to season 3 of the podcast Serial. These resources look at the issues of race, poverty, corruption, and the modern prison-industrial complex and can help show the big picture. However, this article aims to narrow in on the social justice issues faced by women in the criminal justice system.

The United States “is the world’s leader in incarceration with 2.2 million people currently in the nation’s prisons and jails — a 500% increase over the last forty years.” Trends show that the number of women in prison has grown by more than 800% which is an increase rate 50% higher than that of men, since 1980. Julie Ajinkya writes:

“This population has gender-specific needs that differ from men in prison, primarily owing to the fact that they are often the primary caregivers of their children before incarceration and are disproportionately victimized by emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in their past. Instead of investing in counseling treatment for such traumatic pasts and rehabilitative treatment for substance addiction, the criminal justice system continues to detain women at extraordinary rates for primarily nonviolent drug-related offenses.”

Issues Faced Before Incarceration

Changes in sentencing law and policy have made it so that two-thirds of women are incarcerated for non-violent and low-level crimes (Just Mercy, page 235). Not surprisingly, women of color are the most affected. African American women are three times more likely and Hispanic women 69% more likely than white women to be imprisoned.

Another issue that many women face before even stepping into the justice system is a history of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Julie Ajinkya continues:

“A reported 85 to 90 percent of women who are either currently incarcerated or under the control of the justice system in the United States have a history of domestic and sexual abuse. Risk factors contributing to women’s criminal behavior include substance abuse, mental illness, and spousal abuse. It is estimated that up to 80 percent of women prisoners suffer from substance addiction. While it would be much more cost effective to treat these women than imprison them or pay for foster placement for their children, they are refused such rehabilitative measures—measures that could facilitate their integration back into society as productive members.”

When it comes to those entering the system as juveniles, girls are reportedly disproportionately arrested for running away, even though they are often doing so to flee violent home situations. They are, therefore, entering the system already having faced significant trauma and are more likely to be sexually abused than their male peers in the system.

In summary, research on women’s pathways into crime indicates that gender matters. Stephanie Covington, Ph.D., LCSW, writes, “Many women on the social and economic margins struggle to survive outside of legitimate enterprises, engaging in a lifestyle that brings them into contact with the criminal justice system … Among women, the most common pathways to crime are characterized by issues of survival (of abuse and poverty) and substance abuse.” For many women, larger societal issues create a “prison pipeline” and create specific disadvantages for them as they enter the system.

For many women, larger societal issues create a “prison pipeline” and create specific disadvantages for them as they enter the system.

Issues Faced in the System

Jails and prisons are created for boys and men. These systems were not designed with women or their particular adversities in mind. Many of the structures, procedures, and systems in place create compounding issues for incarcerated women, who most likely walk in with issues related to sexual violence and abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse, and other mental illnesses.

Jails and prisons are created for boys and men.

Trauma and Mental Health

Around 32% of women in the system enter with serious mental illness, a rate more than double that of men in the system and six times that of women in the general public. Rather than being sentenced to treatment for their substance abuse or mental illness, these women are brought into an environment that exacerbates their mental illness; causes more stress; and often leads to harmful and self-abusive behaviors, from cutting to suicide.

Women also face a retraumatization and revictimization through many of the standard procedures in these settings, such as strip searches, the use of restraints, and solitary confinement. These seemingly standard actions do not take into account the violent histories of these women. Instead they compound, intensify, and reactivate their previous trauma, which is further aggravated when they react to their guard in a way that is perceived as threatening and are punished.

Seemingly standard actions do not take into account the violent histories of these women. Instead they compound, intensify, and reactivate their previous trauma.

Other forms of trauma come from the correctional officers themselves. Records show that “correctional officials have subjected female inmates to rape, other sexual assault, sexual extortion, and groping during body searches. Male correctional officials watch women undressing, in the shower or the toilet. Male correctional officials retaliate, often brutally, against female inmates who complain about sexual assault and harassment.”

These abuses not only build on preexisting trauma but also create the added stressor of an unsafe environment. Human Rights Watch reports that the stress is exacerbated by four specific issues: the inability to escape the abuser, ineffective or nonexistent investigative procedures, a lack of employee accountability, and a lack of public concern.

Women in prison need treatment within an environment focused on control and security that discourages them from coming together, forming bonds, or speaking about their personal issues. Due to a lack of funding and limited resources, jails are often overcrowded and lack availability to providers who are trained to address the distinct health needs of incarcerated women. As a result, these women are inappropriately or inadequately treated, leading to undetected illness, under- or over-treatment or under- or over-prescription of drugs, worsening health conditions, and a lack of treatment for substance abuse that leads to withdrawal complications and even death. If treatment is available, the processing of requests is often delayed, or prisoners are required to pay a copay that they cannot afford.

Women in prison need treatment within an environment focused on control and security that discourages them from coming together, forming bonds, or speaking about their personal issues.

Physical Health Concerns

As mentioned before, the correctional system is designed for men and takes little of women’s specific needs. One obvious oversight is the need for menstrual hygiene products and gynecological care. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime elaborates on these needs:

“Women have gender-specific health-care needs that go beyond pregnancy, pre- and post-natal care and also include reproductive and sexual health care or preventative screening for breast or cervical cancer. Different physical and mental health-care needs stem from violence experienced, sexually transmitted diseases, unsafe sexual practices or substance abuse.”

The UN continues, stating that a women’s facility requires “the provision of adequate sanitation facilities, as well as services/facilities relevant to women and girls’ physiology,” including access to sanitary products, bathroom privacy, and OB/GYN services.

Menstrual hygiene products are often not immediately available and, when they are, are only given on certain days or in specific (inadequate) amounts. They are often seen as a “luxury item” that must be purchased with the limited funds in a prisoner’s account. These products have also been used as a bargaining chip or as punishment.

Menstrual hygiene products are often seen as a “luxury item.”

About 5% of incarcerated women are pregnant upon entering the system. Fewer than half of them receive an obstetric exam after admission, and only about one-third of them receive any prenatal care. As noted, the majority of these women come from backgrounds of poverty and have not had access to any prenatal care before entering the system. These women are at risk for miscarriage, stillbirth, and ectopic pregnancies with a continued lack of care.

Many states also still allow for the shackling of pregnant women, even during labor and delivery, resulting in injury to the mother and baby, falls, dangerous levels of pressure, restriction of circulation and fetal movement, and interference with medical evaluations or care. Once women go through this often terrifying and brutal labor and delivery, in some states, they are given only 24 to 48 hours with their newborn before being separated from their child. During a time that is critical for mother-child bonding, this separation does damage to both mother and child and can lead both to physical and mental health complications.

Many states also still allow for the shackling of pregnant women, even during labor and delivery.

Issues Faced Upon Release

Involvement in the criminal justice system is widely considered both a consequence and a cause of poverty. Even spending just a few days in jail comes with significant costs. Around 60% of women in jail have not yet been convicted of a crime but are awaiting trial or bond, putting them at risk of losing their employment, access to benefits, and housing. Many of these women enter prison with a zero or negative net worth and children at home to support. Even if they are able to minimize their time spent in jail, these women face up to tens of thousands of legal fees, including:

• Fines, fees, and surcharges that jails, courts and other criminal justice agencies charge defendants.
• Judicially-set bail and nonrefundable fees set by bail bond companies.
• Public defender application fees or reimbursement fees for representation.
• Supervision, programming, and electronic monitoring fees for pretrial supervision.

Women who are already barely surviving through public assistance and low-wage jobs typically end up with a pathway back to jail because of their inability to pay everything back. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that many housing and employment opportunities discriminate against people who have served time. The American Bar Association identifies 400,000 such barriers across the country.

Women who are already barely surviving through public assistance and low-wage jobs typically end up with a pathway back to jail because of their inability to pay everything back.

About 79% of incarcerated women are mothers with young children, and the majority of them are single. Even though studies demonstrate that prisoners who maintain close contact with family, especially with children, do better upon release and show a lower rate of recidivism, most of these mothers face a system that is designed to keep them separated from their children. Limited visitation hours (often during school hours), a lack of permissible physical contact, and fees or surcharges for phone and video calls lead to ongoing stress for these mothers. Depending on the county, even upon release, this separation can continue. The mothers who are reunited with their children often face discrimination for their record and face the shame of being a “bad mother.”

Stephanie Covington discusses this stereotype, explaining, “Gender stereotypes … also influence how we perceive people who violate the law, and stereotypes often have a differential impact on women. A convicted female offender may automatically be labeled a bad mother, while a male offender may not necessarily be labeled a bad father.” Incarcerated women are generally portrayed as inadequate, incompetent mothers who are unable to provide for the needs of their children when, in reality, separation from and concern about the well-being of their children are among the most damaging aspects of prison for women.

Separation from and concern about the well-being of their children are among the most damaging aspects of prison for women.

Deborah Smith of the National Center for State Courts outlines further issues faced by these single mothers: “Single mothers who must comply with community-service requirements, treatment provisions, childcare, child welfare, work, public assistance, and poverty are set up for failure as they try to comply with multiple agencies and conflicting requirements.”

For the most part, incarcerated women leave prison with less than the nothing they came in with, sending them back to the same communities, where they face the same problems of poverty, addiction, and violence — with no resources, mental or physical health support, or aid to help them. The larger issue, then, is the ongoing cycle of poverty, which we will turn to in the next part of the series.

For the most part, incarcerated women leave prison with less than the nothing they came in with, sending them back to the same communities, where they face the same problems of poverty, addiction, and violence.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a dear friend about how our families are coping during this pandemic. Our (text-based) conversation started with her saying something like this: “I feel bad about it, but right now I just feel so angry and PISSED at God for letting this pandemic happen.1 I’m absolutely miserable...”

My immediate reaction was to give her a big hug and tell her that I understood and that this truly feels impossible at times; we are communal beings made for relationship, not for isolation. Social distancing is necessary to protect the vulnerable, but it’s excruciating in many ways. I wanted to climb down in the pit with her, but there’s no hope of doing so in person right now because of the reality of our situation.

Instead, after empathizing, I offered a little advice from my days of theology coursework and my experience as a theology teacher. That expanded advice led to this piece.

The main takeaway from our conversation is this: It is OK to be angry with God, because prayer is a living relationship. God would rather you be honest about where you are than hide what you’re going through. Furthermore, the biblical tradition (and the saints who follow it!) is full of saints, patriarchs, heroes, and women and men who, through the course of trials in their lives, expressed their anger and desperate need to God.

God would rather you be honest about where you are than hide what you’re going through.

Prayer Defined

It is easy to think about prayer as the words we say, or how many rosaries we pray, or how much time we spend reading Scripture. However, the fullness of prayer is the “living relationship of the children of God with their Father who is good beyond measure, with his Son Jesus Christ and with the Holy Spirit” (CCC 2565). Prayer is not just what we say and when we say it; prayer encompasses our entire relationship with God. This is why St. Paul says we can "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

All of Christian life is meant to further our relationship with the one God who is Father, Son, and Spirit and who has created us out of love. If the point of all Christian life is to draw us into relationship, then it follows that we want to be authentic in our relationship with God, as we would hope to be in any other. If I find it important to be honest with my spouse and dear friends, if I try not to hold back with them but to let them know how I am really doing (including when I am angry with them), how much more should I be honest with the God who has created me and who already knows what is in my heart (Psalm 139)?

If the point of all Christian life is to draw us into relationship, then it follows that we want to be authentic in our relationship with God, as we would hope to be in any other.

Simcha Fisher puts it this way:

“I do know that it’s never useful to lie to God. It’s never useful to lie to ourselves about what our relationship with God is. It’s never useful to run away from God, and refuse to talk to him, if we feel like we can’t say the right things or feel the right things. No one has time for that, and it’s an insult to God to even try it. If you feel like you have to hide, then tell him that. If you feel that he’s not fair, tell him that. If you aren’t even sure he exists, tell him that. There’s no time for anything less than the truth.”

In summary, prayer is not simply what we do or even what we say; prayer consists of our living relationship with the God who made me and everyone and everything else, where God calls out to me and I respond to Him, who loved us first (John 4:19). I should respond relationally and cry out to God in my joy, in my sorrow, and yes, even in my anger, because the Holy Spirit has made it possible for me to respond to God. I ought to be — I must be — honest with God in order for that relationship to continue growing (Romans 8).

I should respond relationally and cry out to God in my joy, in my sorrow, and yes, even in my anger, because the Holy Spirit has made it possible for me to respond to God.

The Witness of the Biblical and Christian Tradition

Now that we have established that prayer is a living relationship (not just the words we say), that the Holy Spirit helps us to pray in the first place, and that honesty with God is paramount, let’s move to the second concern.

Maybe I have convinced you that you can be honest with God (even when that honesty involves your anger), but you still feel alone in that. Maybe your thoughts go something like this: “Surely, really holy people don’t have these kinds of struggles, right? If I had more faith, maybe I wouldn’t feel angry at God? What if I’m so angry that I want to curse at God and just be done with Him for now?”

You are not alone in that! The biblical tradition and witness of the saints outside of Scripture show us that despair, sorrow, and even anger at God are moments within the life of those who love God. Listen to the words of the psalmist:

“How long, LORD? Will you utterly forget me?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I carry sorrow in my soul,
grief in my heart day after day?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look upon me, answer me, LORD, my God!
Give light to my eyes lest I sleep in death,
Lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed,
’lest my foes rejoice at my downfall.”2 (Psalm 13:2-5)

Others in the biblical narrative who struggle with despondency and anger with God include the prophet Jeremiah and the famous Job3. When dealing with imprisonment and the isolation heaped upon him after he preaches as God called him to, Jeremiah angrily cries out to God, “You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped!” (Jeremiah 20:7). Jeremiah goes on to detail the extent of his isolation, his doubt, and his loneliness. In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel, laments in her prayer so “bitterly” that the Temple priest Eli presumes she is drunk!

We know that many of the saints, in the midst of their lives of heroic virtue, also experienced anger with God. Take, for example, this popular anecdote about St. Teresa of Avila (one of the female doctors of the Church):

“As St. Teresa … made her way to her convent during a fierce rainstorm, she slipped down an embankment and fell squarely into the mud. The irrepressible nun looked up to heaven and admonished her Maker, ‘If this is how You treat Your friends, no wonder You have so few of them!’”

Most importantly, in the Incarnation, God Himself takes on human nature in the person of the Son. He stoops down to us and walks with us in the entirety of what it means to be human (except for sin). Jesus understood the depth of the sorrow and loneliness of the human condition, and in his human nature he, too, experiences (righteous, not sinful) anger.

Jesus understood the depth of the sorrow and loneliness of the human condition, and in his human nature he, too, experiences (righteous, not sinful) anger.

I surmise that sometimes the anger we feel toward God in times like this is actually rooted in our fear of what is happening. If so, this is a fear that Jesus understood when he cried out in the Garden of Gethsemane on the eve of his passion, “Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39). God Himself knows what it is like to cry out in anguish.

I’ll say it once more: Anger at circumstances in our lives and even anger with God is something that we can be truly honest with God about. If anger is where we are, we should be whole-heartedly open about it. God would rather experience the bluntness of our lament and anger than have us walk away from Him.

It Doesn’t End in Anger

If you’ve made it this far, I would be remiss if I did not tell you the true ending to all the prayers of those who came before us: You can express your fear and anger in all honesty to God, but you are called not to stop there. I encourage you not to lose heart with the subsequent words of the same prophets, saints, and heroes of faith whom I have already mentioned.

You can express your fear and anger in all honesty to God, but you are called not to stop there.

The psalms of lament do not stop with cries of anger or sorrow or desolation; they almost always end in a sense of hope and trust in God4. In the midst of ranting at God, Jeremiah reminds himself that “the Lord is with [him] like a mighty champion.” (Jeremiah 20:11). Hannah, after the priest Eli blesses her, “left [the Temple]. She went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and no longer appeared downhearted” (1 Samuel 1:18). And Jesus, the one who is not only our example but the one who makes it possible for us to become true sons and daughters of God, ends his prayer in the Garden with, “yet, not as I will, but as you will” — three times (Matthew 26:39).

So yes, it is permissible to be angry with God and to be transparent with Him about your anger. But whatever you do, don’t stop praying. If possible, I encourage you to end your own “psalms” of lament and anger at God like the psalmist does in Psalm 42: “Hope in God, I will praise him still, my savior and my God.”

Nothing — not the “regular” sorrows and trials of our lives and families, not our individual anger with God, not war, not social isolation, not our own illness or death or those of our loved ones, not even the effects of a global pandemic — can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:35-39). You can be angry and honest about everything with God, but fear and rage are not the end of the story. The end of the story is the victory of God over all that holds us back, including death and all its effects (1 Corinthians 15:26).

You can be angry and honest about everything with God, but fear and rage are not the end of the story. The end of the story is the victory of God over all that holds us back, including death and all its effects.

And for right now, in this time of pandemic, as we struggle in the day to day? For right now, if that’s where you are, it is OK to be angry with God. He can handle it.

1. This deserves multiple other pieces in and of itself, but we should be utterly clear that God does not desire our death and our suffering; in fact, after the Fall, the entire history of salvation is God reaching out to us to overcome sin and death and to be restored to right relationship with Him, each other, and creation! The Christian tradition distinguishes between God’s active and permissive will. When we talk about evils that occur, the Tradition distinguishes between natural and moral evil. I can’t possibly do justice to this in a footnote, but the Tradition would say that a pandemic is a natural evil that God does not desire but that God does permit for reasons that we cannot fully understand now. “For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist” (Augustine, Enchiridion on Faith, Hope, and Love).

2. In case you’re thinking, “But, I don’t have ‘enemies’ in my day to day life right now,” one of the many ways of reading and interpreting Scripture (a biblical hermeneutic) is to interpret “the enemy” of the soul as sin or death. Think of how even outside the narrative of faith, the medical community has been referring to fighting the Covid-19 pandemic as “fighting a war.”

3. Job’s story is treated extensively elsewhere, so I’ll leave him aside, save for mentioning him now.

4. If, however, you can’t imagine moving beyond a lament of sadness or anger right now, you still have a place within the narrative of Scripture: The book of Lamentations contains no such hopeful ending. Though there are moments of remembering God’s promises within the short book, it ends with this: “Why have you utterly forgotten us, forsaken us for so long? Bring us back to you, LORD, that we may return: renew our days as of old. For now you have indeed rejected us and utterly turned your wrath against us” (Lamentations 5:20-22).

In Kuwait, I’ve learned how to fill grease points on a truck, exactly how much sweat the body produces in 120° heat, and that love can look very different from what I expected.

At the beginning of my rotation, Blessed Is She published an article discussing the difficulty and grace of life as a military spouse. A friend then asked me to write something similar from the perspective of a Catholic woman on active duty. In truth, the military is not the easiest place to be a young, practicing, Catholic woman — and for months, I didn’t feel equipped to write anything. However, I am increasingly convicted that we, as women, have a specific and necessary role to play in the military as much as in the business world.

Thus far, the biggest lie I’ve experienced in the military is the philosophy of utilitarianism, which preaches that morality is based in usefulness. Under utilitarianism, good and bad are determined by the usefulness of a choice, an item, or even a person. This ideology makes some sense in context, given that the job of the military is to fight and win the nation’s wars — nothing more, nothing less. (Just as I’m sure every business has its own goals and standards for success.) We can and do work to care for our people as best as we can on the lower levels, but the military, as an organization, cannot reasonably dote on individuals. The challenge for each of us is to not internalize the lie that the individual is defined by his or her usefulness. After all, in the words of St. John Paul II, “We are the sum of the Father’s love for us,” not the sum of our successes and failures, the sum of our usefulness, or the sum of how likable we are.

This is where women come in.

Ladies, it is inherent in our nature to make space for others. Our bodies show us how to welcome new life, and our hearts have the capacity to welcome new people in a radical way. Women are the fight in the world against the damaging ideology of utilitarianism. We remind people of their worth, even when they can offer us nothing. We bear the hope of authentic love to the world.

Women are the fight in the world against the damaging ideology of utilitarianism. We remind people of their worth, even when they can offer us nothing. We bear the hope of authentic love to the world.

Think of Wonder Woman for one moment: Recall the scene when Diana asks Charlie, “But who will sing for us?” We, as women, are uniquely called to love people and remind them of their dignity, even when they fail. Our Soldiers need us to hold them up, especially when the machine of the military knocks them down.

But it’s hard, isn’t it? Even though it’s in our nature, it’s hard because it makes us vulnerable to attack. It opens us up to be taken advantage of and to participate in another’s failure. In a professional organization, that’s no small sacrifice — and, frankly, it’s not always prudent.

So how do we live this radical, feminine love in an environment that attacks it? I believe it comes down to making space for people as they are. It isn’t enough to love in ways that make us feel good, but we have to love others in the ways in which they can receive that love. Falling on the sword for every person who comes along can make us feel useful, but it doesn’t necessarily inspire or console the other person.

So how do we live this radical, feminine love in an environment that attacks it? I believe it comes down to making space for people as they are.

The fact of the matter is, the motorpool (my Soldiers are mechanics, so that’s where they work) is a lot more gruff and tough. Highly theological expressions and explanations of love won’t reach them — if anything, they come across as haughty and disconnected. What will reach the Soldiers is a genuine interest in their work and families. What will reach them is speaking their language — even if that means brushing up on our “sh*t talking.” What will reach them is standing up for them, and for ourselves — even if that means standing up for ourselves against them. They need to see us hold our own in their world.

For the feminine heart that knows the gentleness of self-sacrificing, unconditional, uplifting love, the military world can be especially trying. Where have we ever seen telling someone they’re full of crap (censored) as more loving than listening to their gripes and struggles? Since when is engaging in flippant, nonsensical conversation more loving than deep, genuine discussion? It can be hard to love in a way that feels so much less than what we are accustomed to — but, really, it isn’t less. We won’t see it every day, but these Soldiers form closer bonds than average co-workers elsewhere. Authenticity and supportiveness arise right when it counts.

So, right here, in the messiness of lower enlisted life, in the motorpools of Kuwait, in the FOBs and foxholes around the world, the feminine heart makes space for people as they are. We love people as they can receive that love. And if that means only scratching the surface of relationship or speaking much differently than in any other loving relationship you’ve seen, so be it. Because even if I sometimes feel less loved or if I feel that my “deep, heartfelt” love is rejected, love isn’t about me — it’s about them.

Right here, in the messiness of lower enlisted life, in the motorpools of Kuwait, in the FOBs and foxholes around the world, the feminine heart makes space for people as they are.

This author would like to remain anonymous.

If you listened to most media outlets and political pundits today, you would believe that the pro-life movement is led by a bunch of "old, white men" who are out of touch with the American people and care little for women’s health and choices.

The reality is starkly different. Many, if not most, of the major national and local pro-life organizations are led by women. March for Life, Students for Life, the Susan B. Anthony List, Feminists for Life, Rehumanize International, Democrats for Life, the American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists, Americans United for Life … the list goes on, and doesn’t even include the countless crisis pregnancy centers where women lead the frontline efforts to save women and their children from abortion.

Many, if not most, of the major national and local pro-life organizations are led by women.

It’s striking, when you think about it: a movement often described as anti-woman is, in fact, led by women. This struck me, and so I decided to investigate further. Why are so many women drawn to the pro-life movement? Why do so many become leaders in pro-life organizations? How can we change the narrative that to be pro-life is to be anti-woman? I drew on the expertise of Saints John Paul II and Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, as well as of some of the women leading these organizations, to find out.

Why Women?

Without exception, the women I spoke with believed that being a woman gave them a unique perspective and unique gifts that make them effective pro-life leaders. They cited being mothers, innate caregivers, intuitive, and effective multitaskers (especially as mothers) as giving them an advantage in relating with the women they ultimately support as pro-life leaders.

“My capacity for motherhood and person-centered approach to life likely helps me be more sensitive to the miracle surrounding a new life,” said Jeanne Mancini, President of March for Life. Serrin Foster, President of Feminists for Life (FFL), agrees, saying that “our innate nature as caregivers helps us relate.” FFL has been led by women since its founding the year before Roe v. Wade.

“While I think we need to see the critical role men play in this conversation, a woman is able to show a culture that erroneously believes [all women consider abortion to be a woman’s right] that there are many, many women who are pro-life,” adds Mancini.

While her education in biology and her experience as an OB/GYN made her pro-life, it was “the experience of being a mother myself that taught me the most about this issue,” said Donna J. Harrison, M.D., Executive Director of the American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG). “Women intuitively can relate to the nuances of the vulnerabilities women face when they are pregnant and unsupported.”

Kristan Hawkins, President of Students for Life of America, noted that as a mother of four children, she understands what it’s like to cope with pregnancy “and all that goes with it,” saying that women can “speak directly to the pressures our sisters are under when they first learn they are pregnant and trying to think through how life will change and what is needed to succeed.”

Women, Hawkins believes, are “uniquely qualified” to tell women that there is support for them and that they can have a good life with a child. “We understand women’s needs for empowerment, opportunity, education, and family support. We can speak directly to the challenges, as the leading pro-life organizations are led by women balancing career and family, showing that it can be done.”

Harrison pointed out more than half of pro-life professional medical organizations are led by women, including AAPLOG, the American College of Pediatricians, and the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons. Science, she says, tells these doctors that ending the lives of “the unborn human beings in our womb does not liberate us as women but rather liberates irresponsible men … Abortion maims us as women, not frees us.”

Consciously or not, these women echo the many Catholic theologians and philosophers who believe that women, with our capacity for physical and spiritual motherhood, are well disposed to nurturing a culture of life - and that we are indispensable in doing so.

“A woman is always a mother, whether physically or spiritually,” writes Margaret Harper McCarthy, Ph.D., in Promise and Challenge: Catholic Women Reflect on Feminism, Complementarity, and the Church. Quoting Pope St. John Paul II’s “Letter to Women,” she continues, “The specific reason in modernity for turning so urgently to the feminine genius is ‘the establishment of economic and political structures ever more worthy of humanity’ and to make them more homelike” (Promise and Challenge 120).

Similarly, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein) believed that femininity is necessary for all occupations, including politics. “One can even say that the development of the feminine nature can become a blessed counterbalance precisely here where everyone is in danger of becoming mechanized and losing his humanity,” she writes of women working in fields such as science, business, or national or municipal service (Essays on Woman 50).

St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein) believed that femininity is necessary for all occupations, including politics.

Changing the Narrative

“The trustworthiness of women as protectors of life at its most vulnerable has been undermined at its core by the feminist movement’s insistence on abortion as a fundamental right essential to women’s equality,” writes Elizabeth D. Schilitz, JD, in Promise and Challenge. “This trust cannot be restored without the engagement of women” (70) - women like the leaders of pro-life organizations.

“When I began at FFL 26 years ago,” said Foster, “I could see that many other organizations had both men and women leading — one as a board member, the other as staff — but the mainstream press would always quote the men, pitting them against women, the way abortion advocates pit women against children."

“The abortion lobby has tried to create a civil war within women and between women and society,” Hawkins said. “They tell us that we are at war with our bodies … pushing chemicals and hormones at us to suppress our fertility, and then they tell us that we are in competition with our own children who will detract from our lives.”

“The abortion lobby has tried to create a civil war within women and between women and society.”

“So many women are stepping up to fight back against that narrative,” said Kristen Day, Executive Director of Democrats for Life. “We see that what the abortion industry is doing is not consistent with the feminist movement of empowering women. Because they’re really discouraging women from succeeding, because they tell women that ‘if you don’t get this abortion, if you don’t kill your child, you can’t have a job, you can’t finish school’ … A lot of the women who are leading this pro-life movement are saying, ‘Yes, you can! If you have a child, it doesn’t prevent you from doing the things you want to do.’”

Women leaders of pro-life organizations, says Harrison, are “here to speak the truth to fellow women and to society at large. We speak not only from scientific knowledge of the effects of abortion on women, but also from experience as women ourselves.”

Perhaps women have a unique ability to proclaim this truth. Citing theologian Benedict Ashley, Schilitz writes that women have a “gift of prophecy [that] can find expression in a particular ability to nurture faith” (Promise and Challenge 72), and Schilitz suggests that “women, as icons of Mary, can offer to the Church … two particular gifts — the motherly gift of understanding the trust we must place in God and the contemplative gift of prophecy — in a way that is particularly called for in the present age” (73).

Perhaps women have a unique ability to proclaim this truth.

Indeed, in the next chapter of Promise and Challenge, Sr. Mary Madeline Todd, OP, STL, writes of “the prophetic voice of women in the Church and in the world,” saying that “considering the interactions of Christ with the women of his time, there is evidence of an exceptional prophetic character in the call he extended to them” (96). She points to Mary of Magdalene and St. Catherine of Siena as examples of this uniquely feminine prophecy. Mary is, after all, the “apostle to the apostles,” the first person Jesus appears to after his resurrection. Catherine, meanwhile, showed not only fearlessness in her calls “for purification, repentance, and peace” (98) but also a great “openness to the value of every person” (92).

This combination — the courage to speak out and the respect for human life — is exactly what’s needed for the pro-life movement to succeed.

This combination — the courage to speak out and the respect for human life — is exactly what’s needed for the pro-life movement to succeed.

Two of the women I spoke with noted that it’s also important for the movement to value the contributions of men.

“It will take male leadership to call men on to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers and husbands to the women whom they make pregnant,” Harrison said. And Serrin agrees: “As a feminist who believes in the basic tenets of nondiscrimination, bigotry, sexism, and ageism should have no place in our society,” she said. “At FFL, we value the contributions of men, who are welcome at Feminists for Life, especially those of good dads. I treasure our Board, donors, and staff who are men as much as I do women.”

After all, the Church teaches an integral complementarity that “considers both men and women equally capable of making contributions to any situation,” writes Schiltz (Promise and Challenge 54). “These contributions are whole and complete in themselves … but, when applied together in a particular situation, can be creatively amplified to result in something new.”

Becoming a Leader

The last question I asked each of the women I spoke with was what advice they would give about becoming a pro-life leader. Each gave her own advice, but the common theme was starting local to build a culture of life.

“Start leading in your community,” said Day. “Stay local … Get involved, particularly in the state and local government.”

Mancini advised women to concentrate on building a culture of life in our communities. “Start a student organization, run for school board or local office, pray in front of an abortion center, work at a pregnancy care center.”

Foster, whose organization offers a variety of resources and programs for colleges and universities, focused her advice on students. “Lead your efforts on campus for those at high risk,” she said — namely, the one in five students who are parents and are at high risk of abortion. Learn about nonprofit management, find an internship with a pro-life organization, and “find your lane. What kind of service appeals to you? Is it advocacy, education, direct services? Is it medicine, legal, administrative? … Not everyone has to be a leader in a formal sense! Go with the skill that comes naturally to you and work it.”

“Have a very thick skin,” Harrison recommended. “Know the pro-abortion side of the argument better than the pro-abortion leadership, and understand the lie embedded in their spin. Remember that we are in a very long battle ... Set your eyes on the long course, and don’t be moved. And always remember that in the end, Truth will win.”

Hawkins ended her interview with this inspiring statement: “Be organized, be passionate, be fearless, and be ready to fight through obstacles. We all know that our culture at large is geared toward Planned Parenthood and their allies. Knowing that you are David in a world of Goliaths doesn’t change the fact that you can win, with hard work and determination.”

“Knowing that you are David in a world of Goliaths doesn’t change the fact that you can win, with hard work and determination.”

Here’s a conversation from my most recent online counseling session:

Me: This is impossible. I can’t do everything that needs to be done. I’m losing myself in survival mode. My kids need me, but I don’t have anything left to give. What if I die? Who will take care of my kids? They’re too young to lose their mom.

Therapist: These are all completely reasonable concerns, and you’re not the only one feeling this way right now. Have you talked to Wally [my husband] about some of this?

Me: Uh, no. I mean, kind of, I guess. He knows I’m stressed. But I know he’s stressed, too.

Therapist: Has he talked with you about feeling stressed?

Me: Well, no, not really. But I mean, he’s gotta be stressed too, right?

Therapist: OK, right, I’m going to share some communication exercises with you.

She talked me through a worksheet called “Stress-Reducing Conversation” from The Gottman Institute, a relationship-focused therapy approach. It was a significant upgrade from my husband’s and my usual end-of-day marriage script. Structured listening and guided responses helped us share concerns constructively, but more than that, they reminded us that we’re a team.

The New Domestic Work

Wally and I recognize that it’s just us right now. We’ve lost the tangible, hands-on help of our village; we’re unable to depend on extended family, babysitters, teachers, pastors, speech therapists, coaches, day care workers, neighbors, Scout leaders, house-cleaners, friends, and even community comforts like our local playground, library, and rec center.

And we’re not alone. Families around the world have been impacted by this torrent of new stressors: kids in need of schooling, limited food options, restricted mobility, sharing home work space, loss of resources. Unfortunately, due to the cultural assumption that kids and households are “women’s work,” the lion’s share of daily stress resulting from this pandemic quarantine often falls on the shoulders of women.

The lion’s share of daily stress resulting from this pandemic quarantine often falls on the shoulders of women.

This influx of new domestic work introduces overwhelming logistics: Who plans the kids’ newly wide open schedules? Who oversees their schoolwork? Who plans meals with a pantry short on staples and then deals with the resulting dishes? Who coordinates home workspaces? Who has the phone numbers for the pediatrician, urgent care, and county health hotline readily available? Who clears the clutter constantly collecting in a busier-than-normal home? Who vets contractors’ safety protocols for unexpected house problems? Who communicates with the normal caregivers, teachers, and extracurricular leaders in this indefinite interim?

Most of these new family responsibilities are covered by women. (Let me state now that this statement does not apply to all women, all families, or all men.) And this trend is unhealthy for women, marriages, families, and society.

“The Partnership of the Whole of Life”

In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis addresses the fallacy that household labor and care for children are emasculating for men: “Taking on domestic chores or some aspects of raising children does not make him any less masculine or imply failure, irresponsibility or cause for shame” (286).

The Holy Father echoes the counsel of St. John Paul II in Familiaris Consortio: “Family, become what you are” (17). This admonition is followed not by a list of household responsibilities divided by gender but by a call for fathers to actively involve themselves in the daily work of family life, too often defined as exclusively women’s work:

“Above all where social and cultural conditions so easily encourage a father to be less concerned with his family or at any rate less involved in the work of education, efforts must be made to restore socially the conviction that the place and task of the father in and for the family is of unique and irreplaceable importance” (25).

For families to grow stronger through this unprecedented challenge, we must rely on the “partnership of the whole of life” to which Catholic marriage commits (CCC 1601). We must commit to teamwork, because it’s too much for one spouse to carry this burden alone.

We must commit to teamwork, because it’s too much for one spouse to carry this burden alone.

Erin Brigham, writing on the effects of coronavirus on family labor at Catholic Moral Theology, suggests that solidarity is the solution:

“Part of the revolution in thinking about home, work, and gender means recognizing the unique value of this work and allowing solidarity, not rigid conceptions of gender to guide how we organize work and family in our homes and society.”

Everyday Solidarity

What does this look like practically?

In our family, it means that Wally deep-cleaned the bathroom, without being asked, while I homeschooled the kids, because he noticed an oasis of pee pooling behind the toilet (the inevitable result of five boys, several on the shorter side, now using one toilet around the clock).

It means that he also helps the kids with their schoolwork.

It means that he often cares for the kids at the end of the day while I email school assignments and organize the next day’s lessons. They usually play video games or watch a movie. The fun factor in their father-son relationship has multiplied substantially since the beginning of this quarantine.

Solidarity also benefits our marriage: It means that once the kids are in bed, we can enjoy quality time together, because we’ve already accomplished the necessary family work of the day, together.

What does it look like for other families to embrace an approach of solidarity in response to the increased labor of child care and housework during this pandemic?

Talk to your spouse. What are his biggest stressors in a day? Where can each person compromise? What’s non-negotiable? How can each person contribute — with hearts conditioned by loving solidarity rather than cultural gender norms — to ensure a healthy, supportive home for everyone? In all of these conversations, remember that today’s solutions might not meet tomorrow’s problems, so we need to keep discussing what works and what doesn’t within our families.

Today’s solutions might not meet tomorrow’s problems, so we need to keep discussing what works and what doesn’t within our families.

When Wally and I take our kids on camping trips, we have a parental catchphrase for everything: “We’re doing this!” It’s the perfect line for both forest picnics (“Yay! We’re doing this!”) and overnight thunderstorms (“UGH. We’re doing this even if it kills us.”)

As we manage the increased family labor that comes with quarantined life, we’re calling on this same spirit of teamwork and solidarity in our marriage: We’re doing this together.

As we manage the increased family labor that comes with quarantined life, we’re calling on the spirit of teamwork and solidarity in our marriage: We’re doing this together.

In a tragic turn of events, the state of New York has recently legalized commercial surrogacy. While its citizens find themselves preoccupied with a state-wide shutdown, shouldering the lion’s share of the U.S. coronavirus burden, New York’s legislators have taken it upon themselves to pass the widely-battled legislation that feminists argue is harmful to women, children, and families.

Catholics, especially those who have struggled with infertility, might have some familiarity with the Church’s teachings on artificial reproduction. The Church’s official teaching on this subject is largely contained in Donum Vitae, the 1987 document meant to instruct the faithful on contemporary bioethical issues. The text explains the inherent moral problems of alternate methods of conception like in-vitro fertilization (IVF), as well as the moral shortcomings of practices like embryonic research and gestational surrogacy.

While the cautions from the Church are certainly valid, another compelling argument against these practices is the direct harm they pose for women and children. In the past few decades, more practical problems with surrogacy have begun to surface, including horror stories of implantation errors, custody battles, and disputes over who has the right to terminate the pregnancy. The practice of commercial surrogacy is legal (or at least, not explicitly prohibited) in every state except for Louisiana and Michigan, despite its concrete risks, harmful effects, and affront to human dignity.

Health Risks

Surrogacy poses undue health risks to gestational mothers. The film Breeders: A Subclass of Women tells the story of several surrogates, detailing health risks beyond those of normal pregnancy. Surrogates face higher rates of life-threatening complications like preeclampsia, and their children face higher risks of stillbirth, low birth weight, and long-term psychological difficulties. To date, no longitudinal studies have been conducted to investigate the long-term welfare of surrogates, but, anecdotally, these women report high incidences of reproductive cancers, among other complications. Risks of donor egg-harvesting include ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), loss of fertility, ovarian torsion, stroke, kidney disease, premature menopause, ovarian cysts, and, in rare cases, death. Even when women are willing to serve as surrogates, it is unjust to ask that one class of women face such serious risks to fulfill others’ desires.

Even when women are willing to serve as surrogates, it is unjust to ask that one class of women face such serious risks to fulfill others’ desires.

Exploitation and Commodification

The costs of surrogacy are astronomical, ranging from $100,000 to $150,000, placing the practice out of reach for all but the most wealthy of potential parents. Surrogates, by contrast, are almost always economically disadvantaged in some way. Certainly, they are less well-off than the clients for whom they offer their bodies day and night for months on end. The financial compensation for surrogacy is often upward of $25,000. Additionally, while the birth mother’s rights are stringently protected in adoption, there are virtually no legal protections for surrogates, whose involvement is governed by a financial contract more akin to the purchase of goods than the adoption of a child.

Surrogates often have no say over their own bodies and have been forced to terminate pregnancies. They have also been left in the lurch financially and otherwise when the intended parents decided to abandon the contract for reasons ranging from financial to personal (such as divorce) to dissatisfaction with the baby in utero. As the Center for Bioethics and Culture points out, surrogacy reduces “pregnancy to a service and a baby to a product.”

Surrogates often have no say over their own bodies.

Promotion of Human Trafficking

Many potential clients contract surrogates across country lines in order to access services that are prohibited in their home countries. Feminists have raised concerns that surrogacy laws like New York’s, with no residency requirement, promote human trafficking. Potential parents and surrogates can relocate to the state to obtain a child for virtually any reason; the financial surrogacy contract provides none of the protections afforded to children through the regulations that apply to adoptions.

The “Right” to a Child?

Access to surrogacy is sometimes touted as a human rights issue, particularly within the LGBTQ commmunity. This notion is mistaken. There can be no human right to procreate, because no human being has rights over the existence of another human being. Children are gifts, not commodities. The desire to parent does not come with a corresponding right to obtain a child. We recognize the limits of parental rights through laws designed to protect children from abuse and other such tragedies. Attaching a “rights” framework to parenthood essentially means that individuals have the right to obtain a child. Children cannot be procured like products on a shelf, nor can we impose the duty on doctors and other women to provide us with what we are unable to obtain for ourselves. Children are, and must remain, gifts whose existence cannot be relegated to the realm of medical or commercial industries.

Children are, and must remain, gifts whose existence cannot be relegated to the realm of medical or commercial industries.

As Catholics who believe so firmly in the beauty and value of children, it can be hard to see why we should oppose a practice that could potentially resolve the deep pain of infertility. And yet, we have to consider the effects of our actions on the women who offer their bodies to surrogacy. We must ask about the societal ramifications of the practice and whether it promotes the common good and flourishing of all individuals. When we survey the costs of surrogacy, it is clear that we cannot promote this practice. We must oppose it for the sake of the vulnerable women and children at whose expense the desires of the privileged are fulfilled.

To further explore this topic and the situation in New York,, we recommend listening to this podcast interview with Tania Bien-Aime, executive director of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women.Ready to take action? Click here to sign the #StopSurrogacyNow petition.

“We must venture out to the margins, rather than waiting for the marginalized to come to us.”

This quotation comes from a document by the Catholic Bishops of California called Hope and Healing, a little-known document and yet the most comprehensive and practical guide on the topic of mental illness that the Church currently offers. It is a statement that summarizes my own thoughts about mental health ministry in the church and about evangelization in general.

When my own mental illness became more readily apparent, causing increasing distress in all areas of my life, I felt utterly alone. Sure, I was familiar with mentions of depression and anxiety, but not only did my symptoms not manifest in the obvious ways I had been taught, but they also exceeded those guidelines. Limiting the conversation about mental health to depression and anxiety disorders left me with the impression that these specific manifestations of mental illness were “acceptable,” but anything outside of them was still “scary” and “disturbing.” So, when I had to work up the courage to tell someone I was hearing voices, I believed that my life was surely over. When alone, my legs would give way under the mere thought of telling someone my shameful secret.

Over the years, the shame I feel over my mental health conditions has peaked and valleyed, and it eventually began to evaporate altogether, thanks be to God. And my search for acceptance and understanding has led me to mental health activism, a mission I believe to be absolutely central to the Christian mission, particularly in our times. Catholic feminism has many gifts to offer to contemporary mental health care, and it’s about time we activated them.

Catholic feminism has many gifts to offer to contemporary mental health care, and it’s about time we activated them.

Feminist Mental Health

Mental illness and feminism were long fated to be intertwined, thanks to years of inaccurate (and sexist) science born out of ignorance of the female body. For example, the word “hysteria” comes from the Greek meaning “uterus” and was once a formal diagnosis given to an overly emotional or melancholic woman. It was thought that women were more prone to emotional “weakness” and, therefore, concluded that the condition probably resulted from a malfunction of the uterus. Or, to use a Freudian example, it was previously believed that male homosexuality was psychologically understandable due to the obvious superiority of the male body but that female homosexuality was clearly a gateway to mental illness due to the obvious inferiority of the female body.

And, of course, let’s not forget that there are still countries today where domestic violence and marital rape are legal or considered standard; therefore, a woman’s trauma from such experiences is not recognized, validated, or treated.

Thankfully, many countries have progressed past these misconceptions. However, this does not mean that cultural conceptions of gender roles no longer play a significant role in our mental health care system. Studies show that men are underdiagnosed with conditions such as borderline personality disorder (also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder), which was previously assumed to disproportionately affect women, due to gender bias.

Any countries have progressed past these misconceptions. However, this does not mean that cultural conceptions of gender roles no longer play a significant role in our mental health care system.

Similarly, the World Health Organization states, “Gender determines the differential power and control men and women have over the socioeconomic determinants of their mental health and lives, their social position, status and treatment in society and their susceptibility and exposure to specific mental health risks.”

Additionally, though many people are already well aware that women are more likely to seek mental health treatment than men, they might not realize that “[g]ender bias occurs in the treatment of psychological disorders. Doctors are more likely to diagnose depression in women compared with men, even when they have similar scores on standardized measures of depression or present with identical symptoms. Female gender is a significant predictor of being prescribed mood altering psychotropic drugs” (WHO).

Finally, as pointed out in a previous FemCatholic post, women face particular risks associated with homelessness, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Women with serious mental illness (SMI) are also up to five times more likely to have been beaten or sexually assaulted compared to the general population, and women with SMI are significantly more likely than men with SMI to be incarcerated (Kenneth Paul Rosenberg, M.D., Bedlam: An Intimate Journey Into America's Mental Health Crisis).

An Intersectional Mission

Studies also show that the mental health system diagnoses and treats patients differently depending on racial identity. Research has found that people of color are more likely to be considered “sicker” than their white counterparts who present with the same symptoms. They are also more likely to be given a poorer prognosis, to be prescribed higher dosages of medication, to be more dangerous, and to be in jail instead of in a hospital.

Studies also show that the mental health system diagnoses and treats patients differently depending on racial identity.

Among the LGBT population, 45% of gender non-conforming people ages 18 to 24 have attempted suicide, and 48% of transgender-identifying adults reported experiencing suicidal thoughts in the last year, compared to 4% of the general population. High school students who identify as LGBT are five times as likely to attempt suicide as their heterosexual peers.

Religious Trauma

The Church desperately needs to become involved in mental health and trauma-informed care, even if just to avoid repeating past mistakes. The Church has grown significantly in its handling of abuse, but we still have far to go. Sadly, far too few lay ministers and priests are informed on how to appropriately and safely provide pastoral care to people who are suffering from trauma and trauma-related disorders.

Human Dignity

The heart of Catholic feminism is the equal dignity of every human person. Many people are tragically unaware of the problems that some of the most vulnerable and suffering people in our society face and of the ways in which their human dignity is violated. It is an important part of our Christian mission to be informed on these issues and to serve people experiencing mental illness, especially serious mental illness, in our lives and communities.

The heart of Catholic feminism is the equal dignity of every human person.

Our Lady of Mental Peace, pray for us.

As a member of several Catholic young adult groups in my area, I hear the word “discernment” thrown around often. Sometimes, I shrug it off. Other times, I roll my eyes. Most often, I think “discernment” means that I have to drop everything; break up with my boyfriend; sell all of my possessions; and go on an Eat, Pray, Love-style pilgrimage to find God’s will for my life.

Discernment has become a Catholic buzzword in recent years, but few of us are taught what it is and, perhaps more importantly, what it is not. We’ve heard the talks about how you can’t discern whether to commit murder or cheat on your spouse, because both of these actions are immoral. So, what happens when you’re torn between two or more good, wise, and healthy choices?

During the last few months of 2019, my Catholic book club studied discernment, what various spiritual teachers say about it, and how we can apply these teachings moving forward into a new year and new decade. We read a compilation of Henri Nouwen’s writings on discernment, Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life. The chapter called “Embracing the Practice in Solitude and Community” had the greatest impact on me. As I read it, I felt that Nouwen was shining the light of truth on many myths and false narratives about discernment that had been overtly or subtly pushed on me. Below are five myths that I believed about discernment, how Nouwen’s writings help debunk them, and a reflection on adopting a healthier perspective on discernment.

Myth #1: Discernment is a fixed process that you complete once and never again.

Like many young, unmarried Catholics, my first thought when I hear the word “discernment” is vocational discernment: Am I called to marriage? Should I discern religious life? What about consecrated singlehood? Should I switch career paths?

Before I encountered Nouwen’s writing, I sometimes hoped that once I had definitive answers to those big questions, I could shake off the uncomfortable uncertainty of discernment and start living my life as God intended me to. Once the ink dried on my marriage license or my name was inscribed in a religious order’s registry, my path to heaven would be perfectly clear — or so I thought.

As I read “Embracing the Practice in Solitude and Community,” one sentence in the opening paragraph stopped me in my tracks: “Discernment is faithful living and listening to God’s love and direction so that we can fulfill our individual calling and shared mission” (Nouwen 3). Discernment is not a fixed process; it is a faithful lifestyle, a daily practice of opening oneself to the workings of the Holy Spirit. Discernment is less about seeking a clear-cut answer to a question and more about being faithful to God in the present moment, staying rooted in the Sacraments and Scripture, and accepting each day’s responsibilities as they come.

Discernment is less about seeking a clear-cut answer to a question and more about being faithful to God in the present moment, staying rooted in the Sacraments and Scripture, and accepting each day’s responsibilities as they come.

Myth #2: Discernment is a detached, surface-level choice between two or more options.

Nouwen writes, “Discernment allows us to ‘see through’ the appearance of things to their deeper meaning and come to know the interworkings of God’s love and our unique place in the world” (6). I think so many young Catholics panic when they hear the word “discernment” because we have forgotten that discernment is rooted, first and foremost, in God’s love for us. God is neither a blind, impartial taskmaster handing out orders nor a master manipulator making us jump through endless hoops to discover His will. Above all, He desires us to build a relationship with Him by cultivating a heart of contemplation.

While pros and cons lists can be helpful in discernment (I use them all the time), they only tell half the story. If we don’t begin discernment secure in the knowledge that God is a good Father who wants only the best for His children, we might be tempted to choose what we think is the most impressive or the “holiest” option without thoughtfully considering what our unique path to heaven could be.

Myth #3: Discernment is making a decision on our own and then bringing it to God for His approval.

When I was a senior in high school, I was torn between one college in a major metropolitan area and another in a more rural area. When my English teacher suggested I bring this decision to God in prayer, my first thought was, “God’s too worried about war and poverty and ‘real problems’ to care about where some teenager goes to college.” I thought that I would have to make a decision on my own and bring it to God so He could sign on the dotted line. However, I did take my teacher’s advice, and after a solid hour of solitary prayer, I chose the rural college. I haven’t regretted it since, even now, five years after I graduated.

We might believe that God doesn’t have time to worry about our decisions, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. God is infinite, and He is just as concerned with the little choices as He is with the infinitely big decisions.

God is infinite, and He is just as concerned with the little choices as He is with the infinitely big decisions.

Myth #4: Discernment is a “fall off your horse” moment.

In the Acts of the Apostles, Saul is on his way to Damascus to arrest any Christians he can find. Suddenly, he sees a light in the sky so blinding that he falls to the ground, and he hears the voice of Jesus saying, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4) That moment changes the course of Saul’s life forever, and he becomes the great evangelist and New Testament writer Paul.

I often thought that God would reveal His will for my life in a similar way: a blinding light, a chance encounter with my future husband in a random location, a rose from Saint Thérèse, or anything but the slow, quiet process of discernment that most of us experience. I think I secretly hoped this would be how it worked because I was afraid of taking the time to shut out the world and spend silent time in prayer with God: “What if God calls me to a vocation, and I hate it? Better to just ignore God and hope I’m on the right path.”

However, as Nouwen points out, intentional silent prayer with God is the only way to ensure that we are following God’s will for our lives, even if we don’t know the specifics of His will. Nouwen writes:

“The Spirit works deep within us, so deeply that we cannot always identify its presence. The effect of God’s spirit is deeper than our thoughts and emotions … [It] is very important to remain faithful to those times and simply stick to our promise to be with God, even if nothing but our minds, hearts, or bodies wants to be there” (12).

Self-discipline is not my strong point, but during the times when I consistently write in my prayer journal or pray my Rosary on the subway, I feel more at peace in my relationship with God and more confident that He is gently, lovingly leading me to the next stop on my journey.

Myth #5: Discernment is a process that you have to complete all alone.

I consider myself an ambivert who leans more toward the extroverted end of the spectrum, especially when it comes to making decisions. I like to talk out my decision with multiple people to hear their feedback and perspectives. For the longest time, I thought that this method of decision-making was “less holy” than emerging from a silent retreat or an Adoration chapel with the clear answer to the question you were discerning.

However, as Nouwen writes, “While discernment begins in solitude, individual seekers of God always come together in community, for the Spirit gathers all believers into one body for accountability and mutual support. A person honestly seeking to know God’s will and way will choose to be in community” (13).

Having the support of a community is essential to proper discernment. Conversations in a tight-knit, intentional community can provide you with a safety net of support, listening ears, and, most importantly, prayers. Members of a solid Christian community can act as a sort of mirror, reflecting back to you your identity, values, and goals when you become overwhelmed. Listening to different people share their own journeys can shed light on where God may be calling you. Your community can be as large as a book club with 10 members or as small as you and your spiritual director.

Having the support of a community is essential to proper discernment.

It is also important to note that, for vocational discernment to religious life or married life in particular, you are not the only person who needs to discern. For every person discerning religious life, there is a community, order, or seminary that must also discern whether it should bring this person into its community. For every person in a romantic relationship discerning marriage, their partner must discern marriage alongside them. Discernment never happens in a bubble. Jesus tells us, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).

Yes, sometimes discernment can be overwhelming, scary, or paralyzing, but our ultimate goal should not be a clear-cut answer handed down to us from heaven. At its heart, discernment is learning to trust that God is a loving Father who wants the best for His children and then living our lives as a response to that love. It’s not just about making a decision; it’s about building a relationship and taking action in the security of the Father’s love for us.

Discernment is learning to trust that God is a loving Father who wants the best for His children and then living our lives as a response to that love

Let’s acknowledge the awkward, giant elephant sitting in the living room of our hearts: Dating in 2022 is weird. Dating as a Catholic can be even weirder.

I am 34 years old and unmarried. As I have navigated the dating scene (and learned from many mistakes), I have heard plenty of unhealthy, outdated, and just plain bad advice.

And I suspect some of you can relate to this.

Maybe it was a rigorous “purity culture” that lacked pastoral compassion. Perhaps it was unhealthy attitudes from books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Or maybe it was an excessive focus on things like virginity, modesty, or how a Christian woman “should act.” I think for many women today, that list would go on and on.

Over the years, as I have learned how to date in a more healthy, self-aware manner, I have thrown away much of what I used to believe about Catholic dating — and there was a lot of garbage to toss out.

Based on a conversation in the FemCatholic Community and my own experience, here are eight things we were told about Catholic dating that turned out to be wrong.

Myth #1: You Need a Spouse to Complete You

Yikes. If there was one destructive myth I swallowed up and believed wholeheartedly, it was the idea that having a husband would complete me. Women receive this message implicitly or explicitly from a variety of sources: parents, mentors, the Church, other people, etc. When I got married at the ripe age of 26, I can honestly say part of the reason why I got married was that I wanted the love of a man to fulfill and complete me. I thought that everything that was lacking or wounded in my spirit could be fixed by my husband’s love. I was horribly wrong.

We need to be secure, whole, and free on our own. A partner in life should enhance and add to your life, not (completely) fulfill you.

Myth #2: Marriage Could Never Become an Idol

Sometimes we can hear the phrase “idol worship” and think, “Geez, it's not like I’m worshipping a golden calf with burnt offerings like the ancient Israelites did.” Idol worship can take a variety of forms. One of the most common versions I have witnessed in faith-based circles is the idolization of marriage. Here is an example of what it might sound like:

“Marriage is wonderful and perfect! It is the prize waiting for you after years of being single. You are with your best friend all the time. Sex is great and easy, and you have lots of it. The transition is seamless, and you just know how to integrate your lives.”

Marriage is not an idol to be worshipped. Our lives must be rich, full, and beautiful regardless of our relationship status. Can we please stop treating Christian marriage (which is a very good thing!) as a prize to be gained?

Myth #3: You Should Marry the Perfect Catholic Man

A message often implied in Catholic dating circles is this myth: “Find the perfect Catholic man (or woman), and everything will work out. You have to marry a Catholic, because marrying a non-Catholic is too risky.”

Marrying the “perfect” Catholic man does not guarantee a happily-ever-after love story. I married a man who I thought was the “perfect Catholic man”: a former seminarian who went to weekly Mass, had a prayer life, etc. It turned out that he was a sex addict and addicted to pornography, and then he sexually abused and manipulated me.

Marrying a man simply because he's Catholic guarantees nothing. Let’s stop shaming Catholics for marrying or dating non-Catholics.

Myth #4: You Must Always Take Dating Very Seriously

Dating is just that: dating. It is neither commitment to exclusivity nor a marriage proposal.

I was in my early twenties when I listened to a talk by the wife of a well-known Catholic writer and theologian. Her talk was about dating, courting, and marriage for Catholic women. One specific point she made struck me. She said something to the effect of, “The point of dating is marriage. After you date someone for six months, you should have a sense of whether you want to court this person with the likely potential of marriage someday.” While this was my own interpretation, naïve Patty heard this: “After six months, I should know whether this guy is marriage material.”

For a young twenty-something woman, that was crazy advice! We have to resurrect the idea that there is nothing wrong with dating (as in going on dates). Going on lots of dates can be a healthy way to learn the art of dating. It gives you opportunities to practice, discern what you want in a partnership, and discover what you like and dislike along the way.

You become a better dater with time and practice — so, go on dates. Yes, you should have standards and principles, but enjoy the process and have fun, too.

Myth #5: Marriage is the End-all, Be-all

We often speak about marriage as the prize won after a long race of being single, the proverbial carrot dangled in front of a man or woman who hopes to be married. In reality, marriage is not guaranteed. A desire to get married does not mean that you will.

Furthermore, we portray marriage as the only way to experience joy and fulfillment — which is also alarming. The joy and fulfillment every human heart seeks is not completely satisfied by a husband or wife. Your wedding day is not when you “arrive” in life. Hopefully, you are already living your best life right now, because at the end of the day, marriage is not the most important life goal.

Myth #6: Chastity Is Easy

When two people are physically attracted to each other, a desire for sex is a biological reality. Sex is not bad; it is, in fact, very good.

Many of us grew up in Catholic circles hearing one thing about chastity: saving sex for marriage. There is little real, honest discussion about the difficulty and nuance of navigating this reality though. Is it bad to do XYZ? How do you discuss healthy physical and sexual boundaries with your partner? What, specifically, do you need to discuss as a couple?

Let’s start having real conversations in our faith circles about the difficulty of chastity in dating. If the Church offers us an ideal for our bodies and sexuality, we need to be able to openly talk about how to strive for that ideal.

Myth #7: Virginity Is Your Value

In and effort to communicate the good of reserving sex for marriage, many times well meaning people turn virginity into an idol. Reflecting on my own experience and talking with other women, there is a lot of discussion on “saving yourself for marriage” but not always enough emphasis on how to have good, holy relationships with anyone — romantic partner or otherwise. And that's the point of chastity!

Sometimes, the way we talk about virginity leaves little room to acknowledge with compassion those of us who are no longer virgins. At it's worst, women are objectified and reduced down to merely our "status" as virgins. This completely misses the point of Catholic teaching on the dignity of people - which is what teachings on chastity are rooted in.

Myth #8: The Vocational Path Is the Same for Everyone

Some women marry young, and others will not. Some will have their own children, some will adopt, and some will be unable to have children. Others will receive annulments and remarry and have blended families.

Vocation and discernment are different for each of us, and we should strive to respect and value the uniqueness of others’ paths in life.  As a Church, let’s make space for the many different paths for married, single, divorced, and widowed Catholic women in our communities. There have been Saints with a wide variety of experiences and vocations - and that's still true today. Catholicism is a Church for all.

Since the recent rise of the global COVID-19 pandemic, health organizations around the world have stressed proper handwashing as one of the keys to stopping the spread of germs and keeping yourself and others healthy. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends scrubbing your hands for a minimum of 20 seconds with warm water and soap. If you’re tired of singing “Happy Birthday” as you wash your hands, consider reciting one of these 10 prayers.

Each of these prayers takes at least 20 seconds to recite, depending on how quickly or slowly you say it. Consider offering your prayers for those diagnosed with coronavirus; those who have died; those who are most vulnerable to infection; and the doctors, nurses, other health care workers, and scientists who work around the clock to provide medical treatment for the sick.

1. One Our Father

2. Two Hail Marys

3. One Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

4. Four Conversion Prayers from the Divine Mercy Chaplet

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.

5. Five “Hail Mary bead” prayers from the Divine Mercy Chaplet

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

6. One Salve Regina

Hail, Holy Queen, mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope! To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us, and after this, our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of your womb, Jesus! O clement, O loving, O sweet virgin Mary! Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

7. Two Guardian Angel prayers

Angel of God, my Guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here, ever this day be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

8. Sing one chorus of “How Great Thou Art”

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

9. Sing one verse of “Be Thou My Vision”

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
naught be all else to me, save that Thou art —
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

10. Make an Act of Spiritual Communion

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

March is National Women’s History Month, and this year’s theme is “Valiant Women of the Vote” — both fitting and ironic, given the current male-dominated state of the presidential election. The celebration of women’s accomplishments has exploded within our country’s zeitgeist. It’s become, dare I say it, cool to acknowledge the achievements of women. Brands like Old Navy usually have a nice selection of cute, thematic graphic tees. Google will change its popular doodles each week to teach children and adults alike about female inventors and suffragettes. Our social media feeds will undoubtedly be a mix of vintage photos that inspire us and contemporary statistics that ignite a desire for more change.

We’ll like the posts of the women we aspire to be — activists, politicians, and influencers. We’ll even admire the work and lives of women closer to our sphere of influence — our friends, colleagues, and other peers. But there is a segment of skilled working women missing from this online fiesta of girl power.

The Women Who March With Us

My suggestion for 2020 is that while we’re praising women’s stories of overcoming misogyny and breaking glass ceilings, let’s not forget about the other women marching with us along the way. I’m not just talking about our mentors or the almost deified canon of nameless women “who have come before us” but the women we see holding our babies when we walk through the door at 6 p.m. after crushing it in the office all day. Let’s not forget about the women who clean our houses, the women who take care of our aging parents — the domestic workers, predominantly poor women and women of color, who help us keep our lives and entire families on the right track while we go out and work.

While we’re praising women’s stories of overcoming misogyny and breaking glass ceilings, let’s not forget about the other women marching with us along the way.

A few years ago, actress and Honest Company founder Jessica Alba shared a post on Instagram about her nanny, Connie Simpson. I received multiple “Did you see this?” texts, and my colleagues excitedly posted about it in private Facebook groups. I’m not a nanny but a doula considered an “allied health professional” by the people in charge of insurance billing, but I was a little excited by Alba’s post, which acknowledged just how monumental Simpson had been to the beginning of her journey into motherhood.

The post was an obvious PR move in the run-up to the release of Simpson’s book about her work as a celebrity nanny, but I can’t help but wonder why such posts are so rare. Some of the comments on social media were caustic at best, as if nannies were a symbol of luxury purely for celebrities. Nannies, housekeepers, daycare workers, caregivers, and other domestic workers are a continuous presence in many homes of various income levels across the nation. Yet we rarely see these workers acknowledged in public or in private, and when we do, it’s often in the form of a disparaging comment on how expensive they are, not how necessary they are to our collective societal success.

Women’s Work

Domestic work is “women’s work,” which means that it has been devalued historically. Scrubbing floors and taking care of babies, sick people, and the elderly has always been relegated to younger women; low-wage servants; and, of course, unpaid indentured servants and abused slaves. It’s menial, “unskilled” labor, although if you’ve ever organized the laundry of an entire family, given a bed-ridden senior a sponge-bath, or figured out how to put a clingy baby down for a nap, you probably wouldn’t use the word “unskilled.” Many of these tasks are completed daily by stay-at-home-moms, whose base pay, if they were paid, was estimated to be up to $117,000 in 2016.

I have a deep and abiding respect for the Catholic feminist position on the importance and dignity of the work of women, in and out of the home. But if we consider it misogyny and sexism to devalue the work of stay-at-home moms and working women alike, shouldn’t it also be misogyny to do so to domestic workers? It seems to me that while we are fighting for equal pay, equal opportunity, and the right to be working wives and mothers outside of our homes, Catholic feminists should also be concerned with the dignity and rights of domestic workers inside of those homes.

Catholic feminists should also be concerned with the dignity and rights of domestic workers inside of those homes.

It’s been estimated that domestic workers, particularly home health aides, are one of the fastest-growing American occupations. But because domestic work is “unskilled,” these women are often working for little pay and with no labor protections on a state or federal level. If a worker is undocumented, or English is not her first language, she may face even more challenges in trying to negotiate the terms of her work.

To combat this issue, former presidential candidate Kamala Harris and Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) introduced the Domestic Workers Bill of Rights Act in the summer of 2019. Backed by the National Domestic Workers Alliance, the bill aims to introduce protections such as sick leave, overtime regulations, breaks for meals and rest, and a means to report workplace harassment. Nine states have adopted similar measures, which means domestic workers in 41 states still must labor without a union and without any protection.

Begin at Home

What can you personally do to help domestic workers? Charity begins at home. And so does the revolution. Catholic social teaching has much to say on the dignity of workers and the necessity of meaningful work to the development of the human person. In the case of domestic work, there exists an undeniable link between the right of women to work outside of the home and the rights of the women who labor inside it. Domestic and caregiving work is not a substitute for family, but it is a supplement to it. I can personally attest to the value of many housekeepers in saving marriages from divorce over the division of chores. The 8+ hours per day a mother must spend working her job is the same 8+ hours her child must be cared for lovingly and responsibly.

Catholic feminists should also be concerned with the dignity and rights of domestic workers inside of those homes

Empowered women empower women. This can’t just be a cute graphic tee we pick up in the sale section for International Women’s Day. The rights of domestic workers are to women’s rights what women’s rights are to human rights: a necessary component of an integrated whole. Women’s liberation must include all women of all classes, races, and abilities in order to truly continue to advance our nation and our world. Domestic workers not only deserve just wages and basic labor protections but also the dignity and respect due to a woman in any other profession. So, when we’re tempted to complain about the cost of a nanny or be upset when a housekeeper needs a personal day off, let’s remember that all working women are in this fight together.

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness” (Matthew 5:6).

As women, we are still working toward being viewed and treated as equal in dignity to men. The blindness to this continuing lack of equality leads to debates and condemnations about feminism and its “agenda.” We, therefore, must continue to thirst for righteousness and to fight for women. If women are not finding this equality in their everyday circumstances, think of how much less they are finding it in the circumstances of poverty, imprisonment, and health care. Our first move is to applaud and support the work toward equality so that we can take aim at the ways in which inequalities are leading to special injustices toward women.

Rooted in the parable of the Judgment of Nations in Matthew 25, the corporal works of mercy “give us a model for how we should treat all others, as if they were Christ in disguise” (USCCB). These works are ways in which we can charitably respond to those who suffer from the injustices of life and society. When we think of participating in these works of mercy, we generally think in terms of monetary donations, clothing or food drives, or serving in soup kitchens. In other words, we think of charitable works rather than works of justice.

While the corporal works of mercy do call us to specific actions for specific neighbors in specific situations, we should be moved by those interactions with “Christ in disguise” to work to eliminate the reasons that have led our neighbors into these circumstances of hunger, thirst, nakedness, imprisonment, etc. This series will aim to look into the corporal works of mercy by defining them and exploring the social justice issues affecting women specifically in those circumstances in the United States. These articles are not meant to be a comprehensive list of the issues but, rather, a primer on the injustices that women, specifically, face in order to give us a “thirst for justice.” The series will end with a call to action and resources to help us fight for these women.

We should be moved by those interactions with “Christ in disguise” to work to eliminate the reasons that have led our neighbors into these circumstances.

When we think about feeding the hungry, we often picture the homeless person who approaches our car at the stoplight or the line outside of the soup kitchen. The first part of this series will narrow in on this issue: homelessness. About 85% of the homeless population are families headed by a single woman. When it comes to living on the streets or in shelters, women face specific struggles that point to larger problems in society. Let’s turn to those issues.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the largest contributing factor to homelessness for women, with one in four women naming domestic violence as the reason for her homelessness. There are many larger issues when it comes to domestic violence, including laws against offenders and how law enforcement reacts to claims of domestic violence, which contribute to the cycle of abuse in our society. However, this article will address its connection to homelessness.

Many women struggle with leaving an abusive relationship due to a lack of resources to support them once they do leave. Women who are able to flee these relationships often end up in shelters or on the streets. They are afraid to seek help for fear of being found by their abusive partner, and they are often unable to leave home with any sort of income.

For many domestic violence victims, “housing is not a peripheral issue, or an issue that can be postponed for resolution later on. Rather, for women who fear for their safety and for their lives, housing is an immediate and pivotal issue on which the question of escape itself rests” (Centre on Housing Rights and Evictions, 2006, cited by UN Women). A lack of financial independence from the abuser and a shortage of affordable housing are the main obstacles keeping women from escaping their abusive relationships. Many women must make the difficult choice between remaining with an abuser or facing homelessness.

Many women must make the difficult choice between remaining with an abuser or facing homelessness.

Women who are able to leave often do so with little to no resources, leading them to shelters, when possible, or to the streets. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB), “In just one day in 2015, over 31,500 adults and children fleeing domestic violence found refuge in a domestic violence emergency shelter or transitional housing program.” However, “that same day, domestic violence programs were unable to meet over 12,197 requests for services because of a lack of funding, staffing, or other resources,” leaving 63% unmet requests for housing. Furthermore, FYSB shares the following statistics:

• Among mothers with children experiencing homelessness, more than 80% have previously experienced domestic violence.
• Between 22% and 57% of all homeless women report that domestic violence was the immediate cause of their homelessness.
• Thirty-eight percent of all domestic violence victims become homeless at some point in their lives.

Difficulty Finding Work

As mentioned earlier, the majority of homeless families are headed by a single woman. It can be hard enough to find work and affordable housing as a single woman, but having children further complicates this task. Mothers have to juggle finding and maintaining work with the need for child care, which often comes at a high cost, making it difficult to save up money for any kind of housing. Child Care Aware of America reports that the national average cost for child care in 2018 was nearly $8,700 a year, with single parents spending nearly 36% of their income on care for just one child. For single mothers, this cost can lead to an inability to continue paying for housing or continue her state of homelessness. Women can also face discrimination in the search for employment due to a lack of reliable child care.

Mothers have to juggle finding and maintaining work with the need for child care, which often comes at a high cost, making it difficult to save up money for any kind of housing.

Danger on the Streets and in Shelters

VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, states that “our social institutions, as they are now constructed, are not working effectively to prevent homelessness, protect vulnerable women, and help them recover.” It also reports that homeless women “are particularly vulnerable to multiple forms of victimization including forced, coerced, or manipulated sexual activity.”

The issue of violence that usually initiates a woman's path to homelessness continues to haunt her as she lacks the protection against it, even in shelters. Contributing factors include a lack of support system or trust among the people staying in the shelter together; limited resources, resulting in most shelters being placed in areas of high crime; substance abuse and mental health issues; and a lack of job opportunities, which can lead women to dangerous activities, such as panhandling for cash or trading sex for money or drugs.

A study completed in 2000 found that “over the course of a year, homeless women who panhandled or traded sexual favors for drugs or money were three times more likely to experience sexual assault and other forms of violence reative to to their homeless peers who did not engage in [those activities].” Homeless women also may struggle with the choice of remaining homeless or taking up with abusive pimps or “customers” in order to have some kind of stable living situation.

Homeless women may struggle with the choice of remaining homeless or taking up with abusive pimps or “customers.”

Health, Menstruation and Mental Illness

“Health care for the homeless is often a broken system that does not cater to the specific needs of this population,” reports the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ (ACOG) Committee on Health Care for Underserved Women. The committee found that several factors contribute to homeless women’s being unable to obtain needed health care: a lack of health insurance, long wait times at medical facilities, and a lack of transportation. The committee also noted that 73% of homeless individuals report at least one unmet health need, since the need for food, clothing, and shelter takes precedence. In addition, most homeless individuals point to five barriers to health care based on their experiences trying to obtain it: social triaging, stigmatization, lack of care through the health system, disrespectful treatment, and feeling ignored by health care providers.

Women especially face issues with mental illness, pre- and postnatal care, and menstrual hygiene.

Mental Health

The ACOG reports that 30% of individuals who are chronically homeless have mental health conditions, and about 50% have substance abuse issues. The American Psychological Association reports that 47% of homeless women meet criteria for a diagnosis of major depressive disorders, which is twice the rate of the general population. The higher probability of violence for homeless women and the prior history of domestic abuse that many face can result in untreated mental and emotional trauma and a higher probability of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A lack of health insurance means that it is difficult for these women to seek treatment — if they even want it, in the face of the stigma against mental illness in our society.

Pre- and Postnatal Care

Homeless women face a higher number of unintended pregnancies than non-homeless women, and many young women and teenagers find themselves homeless due to an unintended pregnancy. Again, due to a lack of insurance, many women do not look for care or think that they cannot receive it. Many also fear that their homeless state will result in a loss of their newborn to child protective services.

The ACOG reports that homeless women are 2.9 times more likely to have a preterm delivery; 6.9 times more likely to give birth to an infant weighing less than 2,000 grams (about 4 pounds); and 3.3 times more likely to deliver a newborn who is smaller than average. In the United States, preterm and low-weight birth rates among homeless women exceed the national average.

In the United States, preterm and low-weight birth rates among homeless women exceed the national average.

Menstrual Hygiene

Having a period is harder and costlier for homeless women. Most homeless shelters do not provide tampons or pads, and they are reportedly among the least donated items to homeless and women’s shelters. Homeless women often have to weigh the cost of these products against the cost of food, making a choice between eating a few meals that week or covering their menstrual needs for a few days. They often must resort to using newspaper, socks, rags, plastic bags, cotton balls, paper towels, or even some of their limited clothing items. Lack of regular access to clean toilets and showers exacerbates the issue and can cause infections.

Homeless women often have to make a choice between eating a few meals that week or covering their menstrual needs for a few days.

This series will continue with part two on “Visiting the Imprisoned” and the issues that our sisters face in the criminal justice system.