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Just over a hundred years ago, women didn’t even have the right to vote in America. Now, equal opportunity exists for women to climb to some of the highest ranks in government and corporations. But the conversation on women’s rights has not ended - it’s evolved. How does abortion change the fight for women’s equality? What would the ERA change for women if it were ratified? Where should we be focusing our efforts to achieve true equality for women? Join us for a conversation with legal scholar Erika Bachiochi on these questions and more on Thursday, October 21 at 1 p.m. EST.

Watch the Recording

Erika Bachiochi is a Fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center and a Senior Fellow at the Abigail Adams Institute where she founded and directs the Wollstonecraft Project. A legal scholar specializing in Equal Protection jurisprudence, feminist legal theory, Catholic social teaching, and sexual ethics, she was a Visiting Scholar at Harvard Law School in 2018. Her newest book is The Rights of Women: Reclaiming a Lost Vision (Notre Dame, 2021).

In honor of International Teacher’s Day, we asked our very own Managing Editor, Amanda Bambury, about her journey to and passion for teaching.

Why did you become interested in teaching? What does a day at work look like for you?

My interest in teaching developed slowly over the course of several years as I went from dreaming of working in international law, to growing more interested in education, and then to working in higher education before becoming a high school teacher. Looking back, there were signs all along that teaching would be a great fit, but I didn’t recognize them. This is the short version of a longer story about how God is merciful towards His type-A, plan-obsessed children and gently guides us to where He wants us to be - where we’ll be happiest and (hopefully) of service to others. Teaching was never my plan, but I enjoy being a teacher and I’m grateful that my other career plans didn’t pan out.

My workday includes teaching classes (mostly literature and history), supervising study halls, taking advantage of planning periods, and talking with students outside of class. I also advise our Student Council and I’m one of our school’s CrossFit coaches, which gives me the opportunity to interact with students outside of the classroom. One of the fun parts of teaching is that, while your schedule is set, the days are always different. Even as you get to know your students better, when you work with teenagers, there’s always the possibility of surprise. They keep me on my toes and keep the days from being boring!

What are some of your hobbies outside of your workday?

My main hobby is baking, which I might take a little too seriously, but enjoy nonetheless! I like testing different recipes to find the best one, trying to make something new, and improving on things I already know how to make. Both of my degrees are in French literature, so I gravitate towards French patisserie when baking. Every Easter, I make two kinds of cream puffs and macarons - it’s become a fun tradition! I’d also like to try my hand at Italian pastries since my family is Italian.

Aside from baking, working for FemCatholic as the Managing Editor is a great source of joy.

How do you find purpose in your career?

As a teacher, there’s nothing better than watching your students grow and witnessing the joy that comes along with that. High school offers so many opportunities for growth: Earning an A in a class that really challenges you, learning how to be a good friend, developing a healthy sense of self, and plenty of other chances to grow personally. It’s a privilege to be able to show the students that someone cares for them and to be even a small part of helping them learn and grow.

How do you integrate your faith in your career or how do you see them relating to one another?

Since I work at a Catholic school, there are countless ways that I can integrate my faith into my career. Our school has Mass every week, we pray before each class, and we discuss matters of faith even in non-theology classes. However, I would say my faith is most impactful on my job in invisible ways. When I’m having a bad day personally or not feeling well, I pray (and sometimes beg) God for the grace to love my students and give them my best self. When I can tell a student is having a hard time, I entrust them to God and ask Him to care for them if I can’t. When I don’t do my best as a teacher - whether by losing my patience or teaching a so-so lesson - I ask God for forgiveness and guidance in how to do better next time. Teaching is a school of patience, humility, and love. You can’t do it without grace.

What is one piece of advice for a young woman who’s considering a career in teaching?

Being a teacher is about far more than just the work of teaching itself. My main piece of advice is to carefully consider what kind of school you want to teach at: College prep? Classical? Public? Catholic? Non-religious? Middle school? High school? These factors will have a tremendous impact on what your job entails. Personally, I value working at a school whose mission I genuinely believe in. I also enjoy working with high school students, and actually liking the age group you teach makes a huge difference when you spend a lot of time surrounded by them.

My other piece of advice is to prioritize your well-being: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. When you aren’t at your best, it is so easy to unintentionally take that out on your students. I think the same could also be said of any job that’s focused on working with people.

As a teacher, what is a lesson you have learned from your students?

My students teach me to be a little more carefree. They inspire me to do things like stop a lecture in the middle of class to watch a flock of baby geese climb up a ramp, or to look for a bird’s nest when we can hear the baby birds’ chirping from inside. Yes, both of those happened, and they’re some of my favorite moments as a teacher so far!

What is your go-to motivational quote?

“Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire.” - St. Catherine of Siena

If you’re like me, you hadn’t even heard of charting your cycle for fertility awareness until the last couple of years. Since I work in healthcare, I struggled to understand why fertility awareness based methods (FABMs) have not been integrated in healthcare systems at large. After all, FABMs are helpful tools for women to assess their overall health.

FABMs use different sources of the body’s data (such as waking body temperature, length of menstrual cycle, and cervical fluid) to assess menstrual cycle stages and various health conditions. 

I randomly sampled women in Facebook groups and my networks who were using a FABM to chart their cycle. Since most people only know about FABMs for family planning, I wanted to hear about their experience beyond that.

Here’s what these women said about how FABMs have supported their overall health.

Identifying Chronic Illness

Several women volunteered that charting using FABMs helped them uncover health conditions that were greatly affecting them:

“I found a NaproTechnology doctor who is willing to look at the whole woman; general practitioners and specialists often look at one issue and don’t consider the whole person . . . NaPro found my pituitary tumor that other doctors missed. It also helped significantly with hormone issues that were overlooked by other doctors.”

FABMs “helped me with stage four endometriosis, migraines, headaches, allergies, and autoimmune disease.”

“With charting and talking to NaPro doctors, I found hormonal problems and a vitamin deficiency, and was able to pinpoint major stressors and the effect they had on my body. This eventually led to me being diagnosed and treated for endometriosis. My NaPro doctors were the first to listen to me when I talked about my pain.”

“Mine literally saved my life. While other OB/GYNs recommended birth control, my NaPro doctor discovered a blood clotting condition that forbids me to take it. She was the first doctor to listen to my thyroid concerns. I would still be suffering from Hashimotos because while my TSH is still ‘normal,’ my T4 was on the floor.”

Health Maintenance & Preventive Care 

Women using FABMs expressed that it helped them keep their health in check and has empowered them and their families. Once these women embraced FABMs as a source of knowledge, they showed faith in its sustained use in their lives:

“NaPro works with me and has also valued my husband, which I appreciate.”

“NaPro did more than any regular OB/GYN I’ve ever had as far as listening to me and investigating things I knew I had that nobody could treat (low progesterone, for example). I spend more money with NaPro and Creighton, but it’s worth it because I’m getting results.”

“I think every woman should learn to chart. So much of our health revolves around our cycle and without the understanding of what my cycle is doing month to month . . . I wouldn't have learned about my own disease.”

“I really love the way NaPro . . . empowers me to be an active participant in my health journey.”

“Charting won't help my medical issues, but it provides me with knowledge about my body. And it's information I can give to the doctor because they will find abnormalities, if there are any.” 

Need for Increased Awareness of FABMs

If charting is so invaluable for a woman’s health, why doesn’t this information seem more accessible?

One barrier to the use of charting is limited awareness of FABMs. For example, finding a NaProTechnology physician is difficult because it is a specialty OB/GYN fellowship only offered at Creighton University. Fortunately, groups such as Fertility Appreciation Collaboration to Teach the Science (FACTS) have made it their mission to educate medical professional about these methods so they may integrate FABMs into their healthcare practice.

Another barrier to using FABMs is that much of FABM education and care is not reimbursed by insurance. Fortunately, the leadership of FACTS, among others, have advocated for coverage of FABMs in health insurance plans in different states.

For continued adoption of FABMs in our health systems and throughout our personal peer groups, continued advocacy and education is needed to empower women as they care for their health.

If you’re interested in using a FABM to support your health, FACTS offers an overview of different methods.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “Pregnancy and Infant Loss” is an umbrella term that encompasses miscarriage (when an embryo or fetus passes away before the 20th week of pregnancy), stillbirth (when a fetus passes away between the 20th week of pregnancy and birth), and infant loss (when a newborn or infant passes away before their first birthday).

The most common of these losses is miscarriage. Because up to 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, it’s highly likely that you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage.

However, despite the prevalence of miscarriage, our culture has not prepared us to talk about or process the experience. As a bereavement doula and a loss mom myself, I have three simple suggestions for you to consider when your friend suffers a miscarriage.

1. Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason," say, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

When someone loses a loved one, we might have the urge to tell them that their sorrow is meaningful. But, for the person in grief, any potential meaning may be far out of their reach while they process and mourn their loss.

Women who experience a miscarriage often blame themselves - and sometimes doctors, friends, or family can reinforce that blame by saying things like, “I told you not to carry that laundry basket,” or “I wish you had taken prenatal vitamins for longer before getting pregnant.” Sometimes, telling someone who has suffered a miscarriage that everything happens for a reason can actually sound like you are asking her why her body miscarried, which is, in all likelihood, not something she had any control over.

It can be scary to say anything to a grieving friend if you’re worried about saying the wrong thing. One good go-to phrase to use is, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” 

Miscarriage is a real loss, and expressing your sadness at that loss is a concrete way to communicate to your friend that you understand and validate her grief. 

2. Don't avoid your friend. Instead, be flexible in how you are there for her.

Although it can be difficult or uncomfortable to be around people in grief, I encourage you to be present to your friend anyway. It isn’t important if you don’t know what to say. Even the best, most eloquent sentiments can’t fix your friend’s grief by bringing her baby back to life. Being present and listening fully and wholeheartedly, even when uncomfortable, is a beautiful way to walk with her in her grief.

Processing grief is a long ordeal that involves many iterations of how grief appears in someone’s life, so being flexible for your friend is important. For example, you may have plans to go to a new restaurant, and she may decide to cancel at the last minute because she saw a baby at the grocery store earlier and can’t stop crying. Being flexible might look like asking your friend if she wants to hang out at her house (or some other baby-free zone) instead.

Or, she might not feel sad at all. She may withdraw, feeling guilty that she isn’t feeling sad enough. In this case, being flexible might look like reminding her how much you love her and want her around. Understanding that your friend’s mental health takes precedence is a great gift that you can give her.

3. Don't put a deadline on her grief. Instead, remember her child with her.

One concrete way to continue your support is to put an alert in your calendar for the day of her loss (or a few days before) every year to remind yourself to send her a card or to reach out to her. If she named her child, refer to her child by name.

She might be in what we grief workers call “proximate grief” for some time – the kind of gut-wrenching, debilitating grief that makes everyday life nearly unbearable. But even when she grows around that grief and its impact becomes less pronounced, it is still there. Grief doesn’t end; it just changes. And your way of being there for her as a friend might change, too.

If you are looking for other ways to support a friend through an early loss, here is a list of more ideas.

Hispanic Heritage Month begins on September 15 with the celebration of various Latin American countries’ day of independence and goes through October 15. This month is dedicated to learning about and celebrating the diversity of the Hispanic heritage found throughout Latin America. A common link between these cultures is a connection to Catholicism, which is the majority religion in several Latin American countries. 

To celebrate this month, we want to highlight a few female voices that share their unique perspectives on life as Catholic women. Here are four Latina Catholic women to follow and learn from on social media:

Vanesa Zuleta Goldberg

Vanesa is a wife, expecting mom, writer, and speaker who focuses on liberation theology. She works as a digital content specialist for the National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry and also serves as an intern with the Dicastery of Communications for the Vatican - and she recently got to meet Pope Francis in Rome! Vanesa is passionate about spreading the Gospel message that focuses on serving the marginalized and working for the liberation of all people. She desires to create a place at the table of the Church for everyone so that the Church may be enriched by the diversity that comes with her universality. She also shares vulnerably about her struggles with an eating disorder and works to support and encourage others with similar struggles. To follow Vanesa’s work, you can follow her on Instagram @vanesa_goldberg or on Twitter @vanesa_44.

Leticia Ochoa Adams

Leticia is a wife, mother, grandmother, writer, and speaker. She lost her oldest son, Anthony, to suicide and has since dedicated her time to keeping his memory alive and speaking about the hard truths of life. She tackles a wide range of issues including racism, poverty, a consistent life ethic, grief, and mental health awareness - and she does so with honesty, boldness, and genuine concern for others. Leticia says that, “because she has lived that day [of Anthony’s suicide] and survived, she is no longer scared of anything except not showing up as her full self.” Leticia is also passionate about opening up more spaces for people of color in the Catholic Church - to that end, she created the Catholic Speakers of Color website as a resource for conference organizers to learn about and contact speakers. For self-reflection and honest looks at hard truths, follow Leticia on Instagram @leticiaoadams, Twitter @LeticiaOAdams, or her website.

Alissa Molina

Alissa Molina is a wife, mother, catechist, co-host of the Upside Down Podcast, and founder of From Here Sessions. Alissa is passionate about social justice and educating others on the call to love our neighbor. She began From Here Sessions to serve as a space for accompaniment where people can come together to tackle hard topics and ask tough questions - all with the hope of creating community and a welcoming space for people at any point on their faith journey. Alissa also started a written publication, Common Horizons, that brings this approach to learning about Catholic Social Teaching (CST). Each issue explores one theme of CST from different perspectives. Finally, the Upside Down Podcast is an ecumenical podcast that stands at “the intersection of justice, spirituality and culture.” For a welcoming place to learn, question, and discuss, follow Alissa on Instagram @alissarmolina and @from_here_sessions.

Natalie Alfaro Frazier

Natalie is a wife, mom, and California native currently living in Tennessee. She studied global development and public administration, and now serves as nonprofit management and program development consultant. Natalie writes that she is “passionate about the intersection of Catholicism and community-driven social change and radical hospitality.” She writes about and reflects on restorative justice, what real social change can and should look like, and its alignment with the Catholic faith. She reflects honestly on her struggles with reconciling the truth of the Gospel with the lived experience of much of the Church in America, as well as the struggles of being a first generation American, trying to reconcile the dream that her parents had for her in moving here and the ways that politics have determined what those possibilities could be. To follow Natalie’s reflections, you can find her on Instagram @nataliealfarofrazier, on Twitter @nat_alie_af, or on her website. 

As a society, we’ve grown more comfortable with discussing mental and emotional health. We understand the benefits of counseling for anything from diagnosed disorders to mental health check-ins when we need to talk things out with someone.

But did you know that we can take a similar approach in our spiritual lives? A conversational format known as spiritual direction can help us grow closer to God and become more fully ourselves.

What is spiritual direction?

Simply put, spiritual direction can be viewed as a form of counseling in spiritual growth. It’s a way of working out how God is moving in your life and what He may be trying to communicate to you. This is done through personal prayer and conversation with someone who is trained to listen for the voice of God in your personal experiences. Instead of focusing just on ideas and Church teachings, spiritual direction focuses on your individual, personal relationship with God.

A spiritual director can be someone with a religious vocation (such as a priest or a nun) or a lay person (a Catholic who isn’t in religious life), male or female, single or married. He or she guides you to a better understanding of your relationship with God and serves as a sounding board as you build that relationship.

Like with counseling, spiritual direction can be short-term or long-term, and you are free to find a spiritual director who’s the right fit for you. Determining a good fit may take a few conversations with different directors until you find someone who you feel comfortable with and who works within a spirituality that fits your own.

How can spiritual direction help me?

Spiritual direction is for anyone and everyone! You don’t have to be at a specific point in your faith journey to meet with someone. At the same time, where you are in that journey will determine what benefits spiritual direction can have for you.

If you’re starting to build a relationship with God or coming back after some time away, a spiritual director can help you explore your curiosity and desire to begin this relationship and grow closer to God. He or she can provide resources that will help you go deeper and can serve as a point of reference for any questions you have.

If you find yourself in a rut when it comes to your spiritual life, spiritual direction can be helpful for you. A spiritual director can listen to your experiences, perhaps diagnose the reason(s) for this rut, and help you explore ways to change up your prayer routine or provide suggestions for how to jumpstart your spiritual life.

Finally, if you have a major life decision that you would like to bring to prayer, spiritual direction can help with that, too. Are you trying to decide on a career move? Are you in a relationship with someone who might be “the one”? Are you having a hard time with a particular friendship and considering taking space from that friend? Spiritual directors are trained in discernment and can provide tools to help you invite God into your decision-making, no matter how big or small that decision may feel.

The Ultimate Goal is to Grow Closer to God

When asked about the difference between spiritual direction and counseling, Fr. Bill Barry, SJ (a licensed psychologist and Jesuit priest) explained that he sees the difference having to do primarily with the focus on the conversations: “Counseling and psychotherapy focus on the difficulties people have in their personal and professional lives as a result of behavior patterns that have developed over time [...] spiritual direction focuses on what happens when a person attends to the relationship with God.” While an individual’s personal and professional experiences do play a part in conversations during spiritual direction, the ultimate goal is to build and grow a relationship with God and to bring Him into those areas of your life.

Setting sexual boundaries is tough. While we live in a time when we don’t have to be ashamed to advocate for pleasure, and the unitive benefits of sex are widely accepted, we still have personal boundaries. And we have to balance our boundaries with our partner’s desires.

How can we set boundaries and advocate for ourselves while expressing deep love for someone? Here are four rules that can help.

Know Your Standards

Identify and communicate what you will and won’t do. If you aren’t married, this conversation should be simple. If he can’t respect you now, things won’t improve after marriage. If you are married, don’t be afraid to make some rules. Remember, we’re given rules to protect us. The “Thou shalt not’s...'' both protect your neighbor and prevent you from living with regret. 

If he wants to do something that you are uncomfortable with, you both have to grapple with that when you wake up the next day. Rest assured there is good reason for your beliefs, and you will be happier in the long run for living by them.

Know Your Worth

You are worthy of the desires of your heart, especially the desire to be loved rightly and purely. Sex should reaffirm your dignity, not degrade it. If you are dating and he pressures you to cross your boundaries, he may not be right for you. If this sounds like your dating situation, I recommend slowing down or taking your time. If you are really into him, you can suggest some spiritual reading, therapy, and engage in heartfelt conversation - but you might just be mismatched.

If you are married and you both want different things from sex, it’s time to have a conversation about it. Even if what he wants isn’t objectively bad, but it makes you feel uncomfortable, his love for you should surpass his desire for pleasure. See my next point:

Discuss Your Sexual Relationship

Discussions about sex should happen before sex starts. Begin by discussing your thoughts or ideas around sex: How do you define it? What were you taught growing up and how does that influence your view of sex today? What sexual actions do you most enjoy and why? What are your limits and why? Talk about what excites you and makes you feel connected. Also, rules can be about what you don’t want and what you really want. Men climax more frequently than women do, and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask him to help you climax, as well.

Find a Solution

When you’re on the same page about what is important to you in sex, you can have a conversation about specifics. Try writing two lists: one for things you are less flexible on (your non-negotiables) and one for things you would be willing to try. This could include time of day, frequency, positions, etc. You should each create and compare your own list, paying attention to overlap. Focus on areas of flexible overlap and try to create a plan that you can both agree to. You can revise the plan anytime in the future. I suggest a monthly check in with a deeper conversation a few times a year. Some conflicts will resolve themselves with time, while others may require prayer and spiritual or mental health counseling. This may seem like a lot for something that should be simple, but trust me - it's worth the investment.

Remember that you deserve to be loved well and rightly, just as you are. You don’t have to “do” anything to keep or receive love. A woman who stands in her dignity is captivating to all who encounter her. Do not fear - you are already loved.

The story of Cinderella has endured across time and cultures, and it has nearly as many versions as it has storytellers. The dominant interpretation in our culture today — what I’ll call “victim Cinderella”— is one of a passive stepchild whose family is mean to her. She really wants to go meet a boy, magically receives help to do so (in disguise, at a party, once), and then marries him. With that, all of her problems melt away and her life is fixed forever. 

That would certainly be a problematic story in a number of ways, and the litany of popular complaints is extensive:

Why does Cinderella put up with her family’s mistreatment?
Where is her backbone? Where is her agency?
Why can’t she do anything for herself, but instead has to be bailed out by magic?
Why does her happiness depend on a man — and worse, why does she marry him after one meeting?
What lesson does this teach our children?

In this light, it makes sense that Cinderella is a story of which, culturally, we’ve become ashamed in the past few decades, even as we reinvent it again and again:

Well, what if she’s in high school and they don’t get married? (as in Cinderella Story)
What if she’s not passive, just cursed to obey? (like Ella Enchanted)
What if they had met previously, so it’s not a completely blind marriage of convenience? (Ever After, 2015’s Cinderella, and most renditions since the original Disney)

A new solution in 2021’s Cinderella?

The new Cinderella starring Camila Cabello overtly — and more vehemently than any previous version — rejects Cinderella tropes to such an extent that one may wonder why the filmmakers chose to adapt this fairy tale at all. It appears to be more of a reaction against the “victim Cinderella” than a fully fledged story on its own terms.

In the film, Cinderella (called Ella) fervently wants and works to become an independent dressmaker. We see Ella serving her family tea once, but otherwise, very little suggests that her stepfamily relegates all of the chores to her. She is emotionally abused and forced to live in a (light and airy) basement, but if the film is trying to portray that she’s overworked, it relies on our prior knowledge of the Cinderella story.

Ella doesn’t want to go to the ball until the prince suggests that she take advantage of the fact that potential customers will be present. The film's trailer captures perhaps the biggest change from previous versions of the story: “I don’t want a life stuck waving from a royal box any more than a life confined to a basement.” Ella is drawn to the prince, but she is unwilling to sacrifice her dreams for the sake of a potential relationship with him.

Threaded through all of this — and, in my opinion, the best parts of the film — are the musical numbers. I enjoyed Cinderella in the way that I enjoyed Mamma Mia!: The plot is flimsy, but the music is catchy, the costumes are colorful, and the dance numbers are fun. However, the feminist take falls short; not because it’s untrue but because it’s so forced.

Several reviews have pointed out the heavy-handed feminism of 2021’s Cinderella. The film touts diversity even as the majority of the main cast is white and a key positive female role model - the fairy godmother - is played by a man. Valuable screen time is spent on comedy that does not advance the plot, and much of the rest of the dialogue seems to have been pulled out of a Feminism 101 course. I’ve seen the film several times now and I still can’t tell whether Cinderella wants to be taken seriously or not.

So much of the film is dedicated to fun song-and-dance numbers, while the rest is filled with poorly developed characters skimming through a poorly developed plot in order to either learn or teach others about progressive feminism. From the opening scene, we learn that Ella’s world is mired in vague “traditions” that prohibit women from owning businesses or ruling as monarchs. Throughout the film, there are nods to popular symbols of female subjugation such as Ella wearing a corset over most of her dresses and women dressed in outfits evocative of The Handmaid’s Tale. We learn that the stepmother was herself mistreated by a former husband, and it is this painful experience that fuels her allegedly well-intentioned mistreatment of Ella. The prince’s father is depicted as a rather comical figure who has been corrupted by power but is not inherently evil.

The problem with the solution

My primary objection to 2021’s Cinderella is this: There are no villains. Evil no longer exists as such. Every act of injustice can be explained away as a result of the “flawed system” of power, of which the king (and other bastions of the patriarchy) and their victims ignorantly take advantage.

Because of this, in order to deliver a happy ending, the film relies on cheap conversions with no recognition of the real consequences of evil. Ella and her stepmother reconcile quickly and easily, and the stepsisters were never wicked to begin with, merely “obnoxious” and “self-absorbed.” The king only needs one angry telling-off from his wife to change both his political priorities and his family relationships. Even the prince, who first believes that “women can’t own shops,” is won over by a single impassioned line from Ella, and he immediately tells her that he wants “to do [his] part to correct a flawed system.”

An understanding of power systems and their effects on individual life is good and necessary. However, to attribute all conflict and injustice to these power systems is to misunderstand both human nature and the nature of evil. This would be to presume that injustice would evaporate if only we could settle on the right system. Additionally — and ironically, for a feminist film — this robs people of agency. From this perspective, we are no longer responsible for our actions. Oppressed and oppressor alike are just victims.

I find this new take on the villains of Cinderella odd, especially in light of current events in my own life. I recently left a living and working environment in which I was overworked for months and ultimately emotionally abused by my superiors. The reason I stayed for as long as I did was because I strongly believed in the ministry (and still do) and because I loved and wanted to continue serving the people with whom I lived. If I’m honest, I’m still sorting through the beauty and the pain, the good and the bad, from that time in my life. I know my former employers to be well-meaning people with good and holy qualities, but I also know that they are capable of real injustice — which is why this rereading of Cinderella feels not just dissonant, but inherently false.

Who is Cinderella, really?

Despite the cultural baggage we have with “victim Cinderella,” Cinderella is a story of abuse. There is no other way to put it. Cinderella is a story of a girl who was neglected, insulted, and overworked by those who were supposed to care for her. It’s a story of a girl who, in spite of this abuse, remains a person of integrity and virtue. We like to think of Cinderella as though she went to the ball on purpose to find a husband, but I would like to point out from personal experience that, prince or no prince, wanting a night away from overwork and underappreciation does not make one a gold-digger. It’s born of a natural desire to be seen and loved for who you are, rather than what you do for others.

Cinderella, fictional character though she is, has been treated by feminists the way we would never want a woman to be treated. Abused and resilient, she’s been met with derision: Why didn’t you do more? Why didn’t you want more and work harder? Don’t you have dreams? Why didn’t you leave? Why did you leave with the first man you found?

This new film gaslights Cinderella on a whole new level, minimizing the trauma she endures and resolving it all in one short snippet of the final song in which Cinderella begins a duet with her stepmother, singing, “Nobody loses...” The problem is that, while Cinderella is fictional, her story resonates with so many people because we see ourselves in her.

I know that the people who hurt me thought they were doing what was best, and I tried for a long time to excuse their behavior on these grounds. I realize now that making excuses for them actually makes forgiving them even harder. Personal culpability — how much we are to blame for our actions, and specifically our sins — depends on many factors, the total of which only God can know. But this does not mean that we are merely, or even primarily, pawns in a great confluence of power systems. We are still responsible for our actions, and what’s more, our actions have very real consequences, whether or not we intend them.

Clearly, the makers of the new Cinderella wanted to distance themselves and their film from the problems of “victim Cinderella.” However, in doing so, they also distanced themselves from what is good and true in the story: the importance of virtue, the innate need we all have to love and be loved, and the importance of justice as well as forgiveness in the face of evil.

Does this mean that Cinderella is unadaptable for the screen? Not at all. Any adaptation should begin with the recognition that fairy tales are their own genre and therefore present a unique challenge to the filmmaker, whose audience demands more character development and plot detail than the original short stories often provide. In this sense, any “original” Cinderella story (whether from Grimm, Perrault, or another source) is at best a skeleton of a tale. It’s up to the filmmaker to put flesh on the bones.

With that in mind, I would like to see an interpretation of Cinderella that allows for villains’ backstories without excusing or minimizing the consequences of their actions. This interpretation would acknowledge that hurt people hurt people, while also recognizing that abuse is a serious violation of a person’s dignity, no matter who perpetrates it. It would show that Cinderella is our heroine because she remains good in the face of evil and temptation, and that her goodness includes working to forgive her abusers. It would clarify that her forgiveness takes strength and time, most likely does not include continuing a relationship with her abuser, and actually demands that her relatives face justice for their crimes. In a detail that is nowadays considered too gruesome for children, the Grimm story has a bloody end in store for the stepsisters. In getting rid of their punishment, however, we’ve also gotten rid of the moral that sins have serious consequences (as we read in Romans 6:23). 

Most of all, this interpretation would still recognize, as Cabello’s Ella sings, that “love will save the day,” and that our deepest need is to love and be loved. This is personified in an earthly marriage and ultimately fulfilled in the saving love of Jesus Christ.

I’m not asking for the classic Cinderella to become the poster child for feminism or for feminists everywhere to even like her. But I do ask that we look a little deeper before we dismiss her out of hand, because how we tell her story matters.

I recently began a temp job in an office. My desk is in a cubicle, and I have an official email and Outlook calendar. This is the first time that I’ve had this kind of an office job with a strong corporate culture. Coming from a family of migrant workers and then a philosophy program in college, this is quite the culture shock for me. Until I started this job, I had plenty of thoughts about the whiny women of 2020, because I wasn’t raised by women working in corporate America.

Now, I get up at 6:00am to get ready, make a 45-minute commute, work 8 hours, and then drive home to arrive around 6:00pm. That makes up 12 hours so, if I sleep for the full 8 hours that everyone tells me I need, that leaves me with 4 hours each weekday to do anything else.

And in those four hours, I’m supposed to cram in all of the items on my to-do list. What’s on that list, anyway?

Write: I’m a writer, but I can’t make a living off my writing because of reasons that would take a whole other essay to explain. Since writing can’t pay the bills, I now work full-time and have to schedule my writing around that full-time job. 

Practice self-care: I’m supposed to make time to read the Bible, pray regularly, say a rosary, and discern my choices well.

Feed the animals: We have three dogs and two bunnies, and it feels like it takes everything out of me to care for these five animals.

Do household chores: Make dinner, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, clean the house, rotate the sheets, scrub the bathtub, etc. The default is that all of these things are my responsibility, even now that I’ve started working outside of the home. Maybe we needed to have a meeting about how all of this was going to get done, because it was just assumed that I would still do it.

By now, you get my point. There are a lot of things to do in those remaining 4 hours. Yes, we have weekends, but before you know it, it’s Sunday and you’re staring down the barrel at Monday.

Stepping into the corporate world helped me empathize with the women in corporate America. In 2021, has anyone in the secular world or in the Church started the conversation on how much is put on women’s shoulders and how little care we receive?

We need to have a conversation about how to create communities that support all of us, but especially women who work outside of the home. We need to talk about childcare and laundry, about why the default is for women to take care of all the things, about fair wages, and about schedules and 8-hour workdays with commutes (especially now that we know we can do some work remotely).

Having these conversations and then acting on them will benefit not just women, but also families and entire communities. If we keep putting all of these burdens on the shoulders of women, then we will only have ourselves to blame when women believe that they have to choose between their career and the family life they might desire.

So, how can we start these conversations so that women don’t feel the need to choose?

At Home: The Dinner Table

If you are the spouse or child of a working woman, ask her how you can pitch in to help around the house. As the woman in the household, don’t shy away from asking for help - your loved ones aren’t mind-readers and might benefit from a gentle nudge.

At Work: In Office Meetings

With the authority to make decisions, a leader in an office can create a healthy working environment for working women and mothers. If you’re a working woman who can’t make these types of calls, explore avenues to lead women’s groups at work and create a platform for discussions.

At a Hangout: Over Food and Drinks with Friends

Ask the other working women in your life how they manage their schedules. Share practical tips about anything from meal prep to authentic forms of self-care – and hopefully you’ll share some compassion with each other, too.

This past summer, the Norwegian women’s beach handball team was fined when they refused to compete in the regulation bikini-bottom uniform and, instead, chose to compete in the clothes they wear for training. Their shorts were “too long.”

Meanwhile, British Paralympian Olivia Breen faced criticism for wearing shorts that were deemed “too revealing.” Her shorts were “too short.”

What’s a woman to do?

While most of us may not be professional athletes, we do encounter dress codes on a regular basis - and I’d bet that we encounter conversations about women’s dress even more often.

But something key is missing from our discussions about dress codes: Context.

Take, for example, swimsuits. Imagine a generic women’s one-piece swimsuit and generic men’s swim trunks. If a woman and man wore these to the beach, no one would look twice. If, however, they wore the same outfits to Mass, they would attract more than a few looks as they walk to their pew.

We have the same two people wearing the same outfits, so what’s the difference? Context.

Working in a corporate office, swimming, attending Mass, and going to a wedding all come with a certain standard of dress based on what we’re doing and where we are (including local customs). Our choice of clothing is a way to communicate something to others and standards of dress can, in turn, communicate something to us about where we are. Clothing is meaningful and should be treated as such.

However, a problem arises when we place undue focus and burden on women for upholding standards of dress - especially because they should apply to both women and men. When we do this, we send the message that dress codes are primarily about women’s bodies and the extent to which they should be (un)covered. We forget that dress codes are about where we are.

So, what makes up the context that should inform dress standards? In the workplace, a company can use dress standards to communicate what kind of image it wants to convey, whether their professional atmosphere is formal or informal, and the kind of impression they hope to leave on clients. In athletics, dress standards should focus on athletic performance by calling for practical clothing that allows an athlete to compete at her best. When attending an event, dress standards tell us what level of formality is expected so that we don’t stand out in a way that’s distracting, while still allowing for creative expression and personal style. Furthermore, context should take into account cultural norms, both from local customs and from cultures that individual persons may come from - recognizing that expectations about clothing, hair, and grooming should allow for some variance when they’re applied to a diverse population.

If we focus on context when developing and discussing dress codes, we can chip away at the unfair burden that women in general - and women of color especially - bear when dress codes are enforced. After all, dress codes are more about context than an individual’s body.

The Church has wisdom to share on this subject, too. Following an appropriate dress code is a way to practice humility by seeing ourselves as we really are and choosing to follow a reasonable guideline. For example, if you’re the Vice President of Marketing for your company, humility would compel you to dress well, professionally, and in a way that honors the authority given to you in your role.

Even the dreaded “m” word - modesty - is most fully understood by the Church as an interior disposition that leads us to not draw excessive attention to ourselves through our behavior, speech, and other actions. Dress codes, when reasonably written and justly enforced, can help us with this.

Let’s reframe and reclaim the conversation about dress codes to shift the focus away from women’s bodies and towards an appreciation for context, fully understood.

Climate change is a hot topic these days. This past summer alone was riddled with climate emergencies: the intense heat wave in the Pacific Northwest, persistent drought and widespread wildfires in the western United States, and just recently, Hurricane Ida in the Gulf Coast. Our 24-hour news cycle covers these disasters frequently and heavily, often leaning towards “doomsday” predictions if we don’t curb carbon emissions.

I’m not here to downplay climate change. It’s an urgent global issue, asking all of humanity to come together to solve. However, these often alarmist think pieces and news segments can tempt us into despair. They lead us to believe that there is no hope and to be paralyzed into fear and inaction. However, our faith challenges us to take a different path: hope. We are called to act because we know that Jesus is our hope and salvation: “For this we toil and struggle, because we have set our hope on the living God, who is the savior of all, especially of those who believe” (1 Tim 4:10).

Molly Burhans, a cartographer and environmentalist, is living out that call to hope and action. She’s the founder of GoodLands, an organization that “enables the Catholic Church to use its extensive landholdings for good.” The Catholic Church is the largest non-governmental landholder in the world, claiming over 177 million acres. However, as Molly discovered in her research after first founding GoodLands, much of the Church’s property remains undocumented or unrealized. She learned on a 2016 visit to the Vatican that, not only did the Vatican not have a cartography department to document their current landholdings, but their most recently created maps were last updated in 1901.

Molly set out to remedy that. Using her Master’s degree in Landscape Design and her proficiency in G.I.S. technology, her goal for GoodLands is to map out and analyze the Church’s global landholdings to best utilize its space and resources.

Maps, according to Molly, are essential in combating climate change. Implementing changes to land without understanding things like soil composition, hydrology, and native species, would be like constructing a building without a blueprint. Maps help us act with ecological integrity in a more equitable way. Ultimately, she hopes for the Church to become a world leader in sustainable practices and environmental justice, similar to how the Church leads in non-governmental provisions of health care, humanitarian aid, and education

In an article for The New Yorker, Molly shares that the idea for GoodLands first came to her when she attended a service retreat at a monastery in Pennsylvania. The convent boasted an extensive forest area and huge lawn space, yet the sisters didn’t have a plan for addressing things like invasive species, erosion, or forestry management practices.

Molly imagined that, if the sisters understood their land better, they could implement sustainable forest management that would help protect the forested area from loss due to wildfire, insects, and disease, as well as increase the value of the land itself and potentially generate revenue. Additionally, the sisters could incorporate sustainable farming practices to utilize their lawn to grow food for people in need. G.I.S. could help them to analyze their soil content to understand what crops grow best and where. As she continued her studies at Canisius College, Molly expanded her vision to include all of the Church’s landholdings, rather than an isolated monastery or convent.

Other than the fact that Molly focuses on Catholic landholdings, why should we consider climate change and its repercussions to be a uniquely Catholic concern? Pope Francis sought to address this in his 2015 encyclical Laudato Si. He writes, “This sister [Mother Earth] now cries out to us because of the harm we have inflicted on her by our irresponsible use and abuse of the goods with which God had endowed her.”

Our consumerist lifestyle has led us to squander the Earth’s resources with little thought to the negative effects of taking without giving back. Furthermore, the attitude of the “throwaway culture” disproportionately affects those in impoverished areas of the world (Laudato Si 48). Catholic Social Teaching calls us to always place the needs of the poor and vulnerable first.  GoodLand’s vision of using land for good includes employing unutilized Church land to house climate refugees, as well as growing food and providing resources to people who are impoverished due to consumerist practices like overfishing, illegal logging, and excessive use of fossil fuels.

The GoodLands Vision states, “As we care for the earth, thoughtful land-management strategies foster a clean environment, promote public health, address social justice concerns, add beauty to the world, support life in its many species, and allow us to glorify God through our care for Creation.” Simply put, submitting to our call to steward the Earth glorifies God and upholds the dignity of all Creation, including that of our fellow human beings. Let us, as Molly has done, reflect on how we can respond to our own call to stewardship.

There’s something empowering about seeing women pursuing their passions in the world, including while also sticking with their dream of breastfeeding their babies.

I think I let out an audible, “You go, girl!” when I recently came across actor Sophia Di Martino’s Instagram post about her costume for the Marvel series Loki. The costume was modified by designer Christine Wada to allow the new mom to pump or nurse between takes. It was actually this post that got me interested in the show. I wanted to see what this actor, and consequently the character she played, was capable of!

In her post, Di Martino pointed out that modifications like this, while they seem small, make a big difference for working moms: “It’s little (big) things like this that made it possible for me to do my job AND be a parent.”

On the set of the series Grand Hotel, director Eva Longoria regularly breastfed her one-year-old son. In an interview with People, Roselyn Sanchez, the show's star and a mother of two, said of Longoria: “She was directing, and acting, and producing while she was breastfeeding, and seeing all that was such an inspirational thing to me.” Not only did Longoria’s choice to work and breastfeed allow her to be with her son and provide for him, it also inspired other women around her.

And it’s not just moms in Hollywood who are challenging the idea that women have to choose between breastfeeding and their goals.

Several female athletes made headlines this year when their plans to compete in the 2021 Tokyo Olympics met a roadblock: They were told that they would not be allowed to bring their nursing babies. U.S. soccer player Alex Morgan, Canadian basketball player Kimberly Gaucher, and Spanish artistic swimmer Ona Carbonell are just a few of the athletes who spoke out about the inequality and difficulty inherent in being made to choose between their teams and their babies.

In a video posted on her personal Instagram account, Gaucher said, “We’ve tried appeals. Everyone says they’re on board, but nobody can do anything. Let’s see if we can make a difference. It’s 2021. Let’s make working moms normal.” In the end, the International Olympic Committee changed its policy and came up with solutions for nursing mothers, including nursing rooms set up by the Olympic village where mothers could nurse and spend time with their babies. 

In addition to the women above, there are examples of women from every profession pushing to normalize breastfeeding; to bring it out from behind closed doors or under nursing covers; to remind the world that nursing is natural and beautiful, that it is part of who we are, not just as women but as a human family.‍

The effort to normalize breastfeeding affirms the goodness of our bodies and has the potential to foster a greater appreciation for the female body that moves past the current over-sexualized view. Breastfeeding can remind us of every woman’s capacity to generously serve others and of our ability to make and hold space for others - whether or not we’re physical mothers.